A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.
For a second everything went quiet in the cab, and then the driver said: "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared me!".
The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much."
The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my 1st day as a cab driver - I've been driving a van carrying dead Bodies for the last 25 years.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
What Woman Want ????
If you praise her,
She thinks you are telling lies.
If you don’t,
You are good for nothing.
If she talks,
She wants you to listen.
If you listen,
She wants you to talk.
If you try to touch her,
You are not a gentleman.
If you don’t,
You are not a man.
If you agree to all her likes,
You are a wimp.
If you don’t,
You are not understanding.
So simple yet so complex,
So weird yet so beautiful.
She thinks you are telling lies.
If you don’t,
You are good for nothing.
If she talks,
She wants you to listen.
If you listen,
She wants you to talk.
If you try to touch her,
You are not a gentleman.
If you don’t,
You are not a man.
If you agree to all her likes,
You are a wimp.
If you don’t,
You are not understanding.
So simple yet so complex,
So weird yet so beautiful.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Smart Questions for Smart People
First Question:
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
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Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person, you take his place, so you are second!
Try not to screw up next time. Now answer the second question, but don’t take as much time as you took for the first one, OK??
~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are…?
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Answer: If you answered that you are last, then you are absolutely wrong! You can’t overtake a last person as he is the last person and nobody is behind him!
~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
You’re not very good at this, are you?
Third Question:
Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only . Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it.. Now add another 1000 . Now add 30 . Add another 1000 .. Now add 20 .. Now add another 1000 Now add 10 .. What is the total?
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Did you get 5000?
The correct answer is actually 4100.
If you don’t believe it, check it with a calculator! Today is definitely not your day, is it?
Maybe you’ll get the last question right…….Maybe. ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
Fourth Question: Mary’s father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the ! name of the fifth daughter?
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Did you Answer Nunu? NO! Of course it isn’t. Her name is Mary. Read the question again!!
~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
Okay, now the bonus round: You may have seen this before, not sure!!! A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?
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He just has to open his mouth and ask… It’s really very simple…. Like you!
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
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Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person, you take his place, so you are second!
Try not to screw up next time. Now answer the second question, but don’t take as much time as you took for the first one, OK??
~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are…?
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Answer: If you answered that you are last, then you are absolutely wrong! You can’t overtake a last person as he is the last person and nobody is behind him!
~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
You’re not very good at this, are you?
Third Question:
Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only . Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it.. Now add another 1000 . Now add 30 . Add another 1000 .. Now add 20 .. Now add another 1000 Now add 10 .. What is the total?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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.
.
Did you get 5000?
The correct answer is actually 4100.
If you don’t believe it, check it with a calculator! Today is definitely not your day, is it?
Maybe you’ll get the last question right…….Maybe. ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
Fourth Question: Mary’s father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the ! name of the fifth daughter?
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Did you Answer Nunu? NO! Of course it isn’t. Her name is Mary. Read the question again!!
~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
Okay, now the bonus round: You may have seen this before, not sure!!! A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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He just has to open his mouth and ask… It’s really very simple…. Like you!
Interesting Facts You Might Be Unaware
1. The longest one-syllable word in the English language is “screeched.”
2. “Dreamt” is the only English word that ends in the letters “mt”
3. Almonds are members of the peach family.
4. The symbol on the “pound” key (#) is called an octothorpe.
5. The dot over the letter ‘i’ is called a tittle.
6. Ingrown toenails are hereditary.
7. The word “set” has more definitions than any other word in the English language.
8. “Underground” is the only word in the English language that begins and ends with the letters “und.”
9. There are only four words in the English language which end in “-dous”: tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
10. The longest word in the English language, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is pneumonoultramicros copicsilicovolca noconiosis.
11. An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.
12. Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
13. Telly Savalas and Louis Armstrong died on their birthdays.
14. Donald Duck’s middle name is Fauntleroy.
15. The muzzle of a lion is like a fingerprint - no two lions have the same pattern of whiskers.
16. A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
17. There is a seven-letter word in the English language that contains ten words without rearranging any of its letters, “therein”: the, there, he, in, rein, her, here, ere, therein, herein.
18. A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
19. It’s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
20. ‘Stewardesses’ is the longest English word that is typed with only the left hand.
21. The combination “ough” can be pronounced in nine different ways; the following sentence contains them all: “A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed.”
22. The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.
23. Emus and kangaroos cannot walk backwards, and are on the Australian seal for that reason.
24. Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten.
25. The word “Checkmate” in chess comes from the Persian phrase “Shah Mat,” which means “the king is dead.”
2. “Dreamt” is the only English word that ends in the letters “mt”
3. Almonds are members of the peach family.
4. The symbol on the “pound” key (#) is called an octothorpe.
5. The dot over the letter ‘i’ is called a tittle.
6. Ingrown toenails are hereditary.
7. The word “set” has more definitions than any other word in the English language.
8. “Underground” is the only word in the English language that begins and ends with the letters “und.”
9. There are only four words in the English language which end in “-dous”: tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
10. The longest word in the English language, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is pneumonoultramicros copicsilicovolca noconiosis.
11. An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.
12. Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
13. Telly Savalas and Louis Armstrong died on their birthdays.
14. Donald Duck’s middle name is Fauntleroy.
15. The muzzle of a lion is like a fingerprint - no two lions have the same pattern of whiskers.
16. A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
17. There is a seven-letter word in the English language that contains ten words without rearranging any of its letters, “therein”: the, there, he, in, rein, her, here, ere, therein, herein.
18. A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
19. It’s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
20. ‘Stewardesses’ is the longest English word that is typed with only the left hand.
21. The combination “ough” can be pronounced in nine different ways; the following sentence contains them all: “A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed.”
22. The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.
23. Emus and kangaroos cannot walk backwards, and are on the Australian seal for that reason.
24. Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten.
25. The word “Checkmate” in chess comes from the Persian phrase “Shah Mat,” which means “the king is dead.”
Triple Filter Test
One day an acquaintance came to meet Chanakya and said to him excitedly ,” do you know what I just heard about your friend ?”
” Just wait a while”, Chanakya replied.” Before you tell me anything I would like you to go through a little test which I call the triple filter test”.
” What’s that?” asked the acquaintance.
” I will tell you”, Chanakya said.” Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you are going to say. That is why I call it the Triple filter test. The first filter is ‘Truth.’ Are you sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”
“No”, the man said.” Actually, I just heard about it.”
“All right”, said Chanakya.” So you don’t really know if it is true or not. Now lets us try the second Filter, the filter of ‘Goodness’. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?”
“No, on the contrary..”
“So”, Chanakya continued,” You wanted to tell me something bad about him but you are not certain it is true. You may still pass the test because there is one filter left; the filter of ‘Usefulness’. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?”
“No, not really…”
“Well”, Continued Chanakya,” If you want to tell me what may not be true and is neither good nor useful, why tell it to me at all?”
” Just wait a while”, Chanakya replied.” Before you tell me anything I would like you to go through a little test which I call the triple filter test”.
” What’s that?” asked the acquaintance.
” I will tell you”, Chanakya said.” Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you are going to say. That is why I call it the Triple filter test. The first filter is ‘Truth.’ Are you sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”
“No”, the man said.” Actually, I just heard about it.”
“All right”, said Chanakya.” So you don’t really know if it is true or not. Now lets us try the second Filter, the filter of ‘Goodness’. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?”
“No, on the contrary..”
“So”, Chanakya continued,” You wanted to tell me something bad about him but you are not certain it is true. You may still pass the test because there is one filter left; the filter of ‘Usefulness’. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?”
“No, not really…”
“Well”, Continued Chanakya,” If you want to tell me what may not be true and is neither good nor useful, why tell it to me at all?”
Living in 2009….Ridiculously True
When these things happen to you..
YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2009 when…
1. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
2. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
3 You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don’t have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn’t have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12 You’re reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn’t a #9 on this list
AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING at yourself.
YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2009 when…
1. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
2. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
3 You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don’t have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn’t have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12 You’re reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn’t a #9 on this list
AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING at yourself.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
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