I've some doubts.. Can u please clarify me???
1. When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? (to be given a thought)
2. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that
stuff? (very good thinking)
3. Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? (who knows)
4. Can you cry under water? (let me try)
5. Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day? (I think they meant something else)
6. Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed? (God knows)
7. Do fish ever get thirsty? (let me ask and tell)
8. Can you get cornered in a round room? (by ones eyes)
9. Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep? (tonight I will stay and watch)
10. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oils made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? (No comments)
11. What should one call a male ladybird? (No comments)
12. If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot? (can somebody help )
13. Can you blow a balloon up under water? (yes u can)
14. Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? (strange isn't it)
15. If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be able to hear it? (got to think scientifically)
16. If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?
17. Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road?
18. If DRINK & DRIVE is ILLEGAL, why the hell they have parking in Bars?
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Good One....
A worried woman went to her gynecologist and said: "Doctor, I have a serious problem and desperately need your help! My baby is not even 1 yr. old and I'm pregnant again. I don't want kids so close together."
So the doctor said: 'Ok, and what do you want me to do?'
She said: 'I want you to end my pregnancy, and I'm counting on your help with this.'
The doctor thought for a little, and after some silence he said to the lady: "I think, I have a better solution for your problem. It's less dangerous for you too.'
She smiled, thinking that the doctor was going to accept her request.
Then he continued: 'You see, in order for you not to have to take care of 2 babies at the same time, let's kill the one in your arms.
This way, you could rest some before the other one is born. If we're going to kill one of them, it doesn't matter which one it is.
There would be no risk for your body if you chose the one in your arms.
The lady was horrified and said: 'No doctor! How terrible! It's a crime to kill a child!
'I agree', the doctor replied. 'But you seemed to be ok with it, so I thought maybe that was the best solution.
The doctor smiled, realizing that he had made his point. He convinced the mom that there is no difference in killing a child that's already been born and one that's still in the womb. The crime is the same!
So the doctor said: 'Ok, and what do you want me to do?'
She said: 'I want you to end my pregnancy, and I'm counting on your help with this.'
The doctor thought for a little, and after some silence he said to the lady: "I think, I have a better solution for your problem. It's less dangerous for you too.'
She smiled, thinking that the doctor was going to accept her request.
Then he continued: 'You see, in order for you not to have to take care of 2 babies at the same time, let's kill the one in your arms.
This way, you could rest some before the other one is born. If we're going to kill one of them, it doesn't matter which one it is.
There would be no risk for your body if you chose the one in your arms.
The lady was horrified and said: 'No doctor! How terrible! It's a crime to kill a child!
'I agree', the doctor replied. 'But you seemed to be ok with it, so I thought maybe that was the best solution.
The doctor smiled, realizing that he had made his point. He convinced the mom that there is no difference in killing a child that's already been born and one that's still in the womb. The crime is the same!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Nandan's brief of his first day in parliament! - VeryInteresting... really i say
Nandan Nilekani’s Experience as Head of UIAI!
From an INFOSCION to a Politician - Nandan's Chronicles –2
Continuing my tryst with capturing the life and times of Nandan Nilekani in his new avatar as a Cabinet Minister, here is what he had penned after his first day in the Parliament. The last entry stopped when the House was just about to begin. Let’s see what happened thereafter….
The House was in pin drop silence. I was brimming with anticipation and excitement!!!! Manmohan had informed me that my introduction was one of the important points of the agenda. I hoped that I will be able to make my speech properly. After so many interviews and conferences, I was nervous today!!!! After the Speaker indicated that the proceedings of the House could begin, Manmohan formally introduced me to the entire House. He mentioned that as the head of the Unique Identification Authority of India, I was responsible to ensure that each and every Indian had a digital smart card as a proof of his existence.
Manmohan spoke about why I was selected and also some references to the various projects executed by me in Infosys were mentioned. The House listened with rapt attention. I was asked to say a few words and I did exactly the same!!! I thanked the Government of India for having given me this opportunity and I assured the House that I would strive to successfully deliver this project. The Speaker then formally inducted me into the House and before the proceedings could move any forward, there was a small commotion on the other side of the hall.
It was Minister of Textiles who had a comment to make before the next point on the agenda. He made a request that I should be attired in a more austere way instead of a flashy suit. It did not go well with the image of a minister who should live to serve the common man and should be less ostentatious in his habits. I stood up to reply. I offered my apologies to the Honourable Minister and assured that I shall be in a more acceptable dress next time. I felt that he was right. We also used to have corporate dress code in Infosys. So it's here as well!!!!
I sat down and felt somebody nudging me. I turned around and to my surprise; it was the former Indian skipper and one of my favourite batsman Mohd. Azharuddin. I remembered that he had recently won the elections. I smiled at him and mentioned to him that I used to like his game very much, shaking his hand. No Rolex, I noticed. Azhar told me that he would “fix” me an appointment with an Italian designer who had designed his dapper Kurta suit. An Italian designer in Milan doing Kurtas!!!!! I made a note of this and reminded myself to give this example to Friedman for his next book,” The World Markets are flattened”.
Since there was no doubt about the “Fixational” capacities of Azhar, I told him to give me the details and I would consider. The proceedings of the House went on with numerous bills being debated and passed as I sat as a passive audience waiting for my project’s turn to come up. After the lunch break, it was the moment for me!!!!
MY PROJECT”S FIRST REVIEW CAME UP FOR PRESENTATION.
I was at sea. My laptop did not have any reserve power. I went to Manmohan and apprised him of the situation. I was sweating. He calmly replied that this would not be a cause of concern. I was flummoxed!!!! The Speaker asked me to explain to the House on what were my plans for the Unique Identity Project. I replied that I have a plan prepared for 30-60-90-120 days’ milestones and I have presentation to make for which I need a power socket, a projector and a screen. I had no idea what was going to happen after this.
The next couple of minutes were a complete jolt for me. I was completely in a tizzy. Let me just summarize what happened. A Joint Cabinet Secretary Committee was set up to judge the feasibility of my request. The Under Secretaries for the Ministries of Power, IT and Broadcasting will prepare a Viability Report after scrutinizing National Security threats to my request. This was because the power socket comes under Power, laptop comes under IT and projector comes under Broadcasting. I have also been told to reconsider my timelines of 30-60-90 days and start thinking in terms of years. Probably, they are right. I did not have the foresight in this matter.
The summary of the issue is that I need to come up with a more inclusive, democratic, comprehensive long term plan for this project to be executed over the next five years. I have also been given a presentation slot 3 months from now (by which the issues related to the power cord etc will also be resolved). I am filled with mixed reactions. I was planning for a quick resolution; the management wants a strategic solution. I come out of the House and text Murthy.
“You won’t believe it but these guys work just like us. I am on a NATIONAL BENCH for the next three months!!!!!!!!”
From an INFOSCION to a Politician - Nandan's Chronicles –2
Continuing my tryst with capturing the life and times of Nandan Nilekani in his new avatar as a Cabinet Minister, here is what he had penned after his first day in the Parliament. The last entry stopped when the House was just about to begin. Let’s see what happened thereafter….
The House was in pin drop silence. I was brimming with anticipation and excitement!!!! Manmohan had informed me that my introduction was one of the important points of the agenda. I hoped that I will be able to make my speech properly. After so many interviews and conferences, I was nervous today!!!! After the Speaker indicated that the proceedings of the House could begin, Manmohan formally introduced me to the entire House. He mentioned that as the head of the Unique Identification Authority of India, I was responsible to ensure that each and every Indian had a digital smart card as a proof of his existence.
Manmohan spoke about why I was selected and also some references to the various projects executed by me in Infosys were mentioned. The House listened with rapt attention. I was asked to say a few words and I did exactly the same!!! I thanked the Government of India for having given me this opportunity and I assured the House that I would strive to successfully deliver this project. The Speaker then formally inducted me into the House and before the proceedings could move any forward, there was a small commotion on the other side of the hall.
It was Minister of Textiles who had a comment to make before the next point on the agenda. He made a request that I should be attired in a more austere way instead of a flashy suit. It did not go well with the image of a minister who should live to serve the common man and should be less ostentatious in his habits. I stood up to reply. I offered my apologies to the Honourable Minister and assured that I shall be in a more acceptable dress next time. I felt that he was right. We also used to have corporate dress code in Infosys. So it's here as well!!!!
I sat down and felt somebody nudging me. I turned around and to my surprise; it was the former Indian skipper and one of my favourite batsman Mohd. Azharuddin. I remembered that he had recently won the elections. I smiled at him and mentioned to him that I used to like his game very much, shaking his hand. No Rolex, I noticed. Azhar told me that he would “fix” me an appointment with an Italian designer who had designed his dapper Kurta suit. An Italian designer in Milan doing Kurtas!!!!! I made a note of this and reminded myself to give this example to Friedman for his next book,” The World Markets are flattened”.
Since there was no doubt about the “Fixational” capacities of Azhar, I told him to give me the details and I would consider. The proceedings of the House went on with numerous bills being debated and passed as I sat as a passive audience waiting for my project’s turn to come up. After the lunch break, it was the moment for me!!!!
MY PROJECT”S FIRST REVIEW CAME UP FOR PRESENTATION.
I was at sea. My laptop did not have any reserve power. I went to Manmohan and apprised him of the situation. I was sweating. He calmly replied that this would not be a cause of concern. I was flummoxed!!!! The Speaker asked me to explain to the House on what were my plans for the Unique Identity Project. I replied that I have a plan prepared for 30-60-90-120 days’ milestones and I have presentation to make for which I need a power socket, a projector and a screen. I had no idea what was going to happen after this.
The next couple of minutes were a complete jolt for me. I was completely in a tizzy. Let me just summarize what happened. A Joint Cabinet Secretary Committee was set up to judge the feasibility of my request. The Under Secretaries for the Ministries of Power, IT and Broadcasting will prepare a Viability Report after scrutinizing National Security threats to my request. This was because the power socket comes under Power, laptop comes under IT and projector comes under Broadcasting. I have also been told to reconsider my timelines of 30-60-90 days and start thinking in terms of years. Probably, they are right. I did not have the foresight in this matter.
The summary of the issue is that I need to come up with a more inclusive, democratic, comprehensive long term plan for this project to be executed over the next five years. I have also been given a presentation slot 3 months from now (by which the issues related to the power cord etc will also be resolved). I am filled with mixed reactions. I was planning for a quick resolution; the management wants a strategic solution. I come out of the House and text Murthy.
“You won’t believe it but these guys work just like us. I am on a NATIONAL BENCH for the next three months!!!!!!!!”
Pain of a married man!!!!!..aaah
Just for FUN….
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.
She goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him.
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 18?" he asks solemnly. "Yes I do" she replies.
The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the garden?"
"Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued.. "Do you remember when he showed the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?"
"I remember that too" she replied softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "I would have been released today!"
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.
She goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him.
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 18?" he asks solemnly. "Yes I do" she replies.
The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the garden?"
"Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued.. "Do you remember when he showed the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?"
"I remember that too" she replied softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "I would have been released today!"
superb Song(Telugu) --- Emunnadakko ooo Emunnadakka....!
Emunnadakko ooo emunnadakkaaa...
Potta perigipoi..juttu ralipoi...vunna paruvu poi..
ee industry lo nakinka
emunnadi akko.. emunnadi akko emunnadi akka..
B.tech chesi naaka (saami)
Hyderabad cherukunnaa(saami)
Experience adugutunteeeee aa aaaa aaaav
Experience adugunte, enta kaavali ante anta petti, job kottina, join ayyina banchaaaaaaan
(Emunnadi akko..)
Training lu ivvaka paye (saami)
Client interaction annadu (saami)
Communication baledu ante a aaa aaaa
Communication baledu ante, kumili kumili edichina, hindu paper veyinchinaa banchaaaaaan
(Emunnadi akko..)
Project ichundu vaadu(saami)
Payslip kuda vachindi(saami)
Payslip chupinchiiii. a a a a a a aaaaaaaaaaaa
Payslip chupinchina, credit card teesukunna, avasaram lenivi anni konna appula palu ainaaa banchhaann...
(Emunnadi akko..)
Project aipoindiii(saami)
Kottadi vastadi annadu (saami)
Bench lo pettundu aaaaa a aa aaaaaaa
Bench lo pettinaaka subject marichipoina, o roju na HR pilusundu poi kalisina banchaann....
(Emunnadi akko..)
Boom taggindi annadu (saami)
Cost cutting annadu (saami)..
Benchlo vunna ani cheppiii aaaaaa a a a a aaaaa
Bench lo vunna ani cheppi bayatiki tosundu kompa kulchundu banchaaannn...
(Emunnadi akko..)
Potta perigipoi..juttu ralipoi...vunna paruvu poi..
ee industry lo nakinka
emunnadi akko.. emunnadi akko emunnadi akka..
B.tech chesi naaka (saami)
Hyderabad cherukunnaa(saami)
Experience adugutunteeeee aa aaaa aaaav
Experience adugunte, enta kaavali ante anta petti, job kottina, join ayyina banchaaaaaaan
(Emunnadi akko..)
Training lu ivvaka paye (saami)
Client interaction annadu (saami)
Communication baledu ante a aaa aaaa
Communication baledu ante, kumili kumili edichina, hindu paper veyinchinaa banchaaaaaan
(Emunnadi akko..)
Project ichundu vaadu(saami)
Payslip kuda vachindi(saami)
Payslip chupinchiiii. a a a a a a aaaaaaaaaaaa
Payslip chupinchina, credit card teesukunna, avasaram lenivi anni konna appula palu ainaaa banchhaann...
(Emunnadi akko..)
Project aipoindiii(saami)
Kottadi vastadi annadu (saami)
Bench lo pettundu aaaaa a aa aaaaaaa
Bench lo pettinaaka subject marichipoina, o roju na HR pilusundu poi kalisina banchaann....
(Emunnadi akko..)
Boom taggindi annadu (saami)
Cost cutting annadu (saami)..
Benchlo vunna ani cheppiii aaaaaa a a a a aaaaa
Bench lo vunna ani cheppi bayatiki tosundu kompa kulchundu banchaaannn...
(Emunnadi akko..)
MINDBLOWING: Dialogues in English mind it.....
1) U can study and get any certificates. But u cannot get ur death certificate.
2) U may have AIRTEL or BSNL connection but when u sneeze u ll say HUTCH.
3) U can bcome an engineer if u study in engineering college. U cannot bcom a president if u studies in Presidency College.
4) U can expect a BUS from a BUS stop .... u cannot expect a FULL from FULL stop.
5) A mechanical engineer can bcom a mechanic but a software engineer cannot bcom a software.
6)U can find tea in teacup. But cannot find world in world cup.
7) U can find keys in Keyboard but u cannot find mother in motherboard..
2) U may have AIRTEL or BSNL connection but when u sneeze u ll say HUTCH.
3) U can bcome an engineer if u study in engineering college. U cannot bcom a president if u studies in Presidency College.
4) U can expect a BUS from a BUS stop .... u cannot expect a FULL from FULL stop.
5) A mechanical engineer can bcom a mechanic but a software engineer cannot bcom a software.
6)U can find tea in teacup. But cannot find world in world cup.
7) U can find keys in Keyboard but u cannot find mother in motherboard..
One solution for every situation..superb..very very nice
Great Message
Once a king called upon all of his wise men and asked them "Is there a mantra or suggestion which works in every situation, in every circumstance, in every place and in every time. Something which can help me when none of you is available to advise me. Tell me is there any mantra?"
All wise men got puzzled by King's question.
One answer for all questions? Something that works everywhere, in every situation, in every joy, every sorrow, every defeat and every victory?
They thought and thought.
After a lengthy discussion, an old man suggested something which appealed to all of them. They went to the king and gave him something written on paper. But the condition was that king was not to see it out of curiosity. Only in extreme danger, when the King finds himself alone and there seems to be no way, only then he'll have to see it.
The King put the papers under his Diamond ring.
After a few days, the neighbors attacked the Kingdom. It was a collective surprise attack of the King's enemies.
King and his army fought bravely but lost the battle. King had to fled on his horse. The enemies were following him.
His horse took him far away in the Jungle. He could hear many troops of horses following him and the noise was coming closer and closer.
Suddenly the King found himself standing at the end of the road – that road was not going anywhere. Underneath there was a rocky valley thousand feet deep. If he jumped into it, he would be finished and he could not return because it was a small road.
The sound of enemy's horses was approaching fast. King became restless. There seemed to be no way.
Then suddenly he saw the Diamond in his ring shining in the sun, and he remembered the message hidden in the ring.
He opened the diamond and read the message. The message was very small but very great.
The message was - "Even this shall pass away."
The King read it. Again read it. Suddenly something struck him- Yes! It too will pass. Only a few days ago, I was enjoying my kingdom. I was the mightiest of all the Kings. Yet today, the Kingdom and all his pleasure have gone.
I am here trying to escape from enemies.
However when those days of luxuries have gone, this day of danger too will pass. Calm come on his face. He kept standing there.
The place where he was standing was full of natural beauty. He had never known that such a beautiful place was also a part of his Kingdom. The revelation of the message had a great effect on him. He relaxed and forgot about those following him. After a few minutes he realized that the noise of the horses and the enemy coming was receding. They moved into some other part of the mountains and were not on that path.
The King was very brave. He reorganized his army and fought again. He defeated the enemy and regained his lost empire. When he returned to his empire after victory, he was received with much fan fare at the door. The whole capital was rejoicing in the victory. Everyone was in a festive mood.
Flowers were being thrown on the King from every house, from every corner. People were dancing and singing. For a moment King said to himself," I am one of the bravest and greatest King. It is not easy to defeat me".
With all the reception and celebration he saw an ego emerging in him.
Suddenly the Diamond of his ring flashed in the sunlight and reminded him of the message. He open it and read it again:
"Even this shall pass away."
He became silent. His face went through a total change - from the egoist he moved to a state of utter humbleness.
If this too is going to pass, it is not yours. The defeat was not yours, the victory is not yours. You are just a watcher. Everything passes by we are witness of all this. We are the perceiver.
Life comes and goes.
Happiness comes and goes. Sorrow comes and goes.
Now as you have read this story, just sit silently and evaluate your own life. Think of the moments of joy and victory in your life. Think of the moment of Sorrow and defeat. Are they permanent? They all come and pass away. Life just passes away.
There were friends in the past. They have gone.
There are friends today. They too will go.
There will be new friends tomorrow. They too will go.
There were enemies in the past. They have gone.
There may be enemies in the present. They too will go.
There will be new enemies tomorrow and they too will go.
There is nothing permanent in this world. Everything changes except the law of change. Think over it from your own perspective. You have seen all the changes. You have survived all setbacks, all defeats and all sorrows.
All have passed away. If there are problems in the present, they too will pass away. Because nothing remains forever.
Who are you in reality? Know your real face. Your face is not your true face. It will change with the time. However, there is something in you, which will not change. It will remain unchanged. What is that unchangeable?
It is nothing but your true self. You are just a witness of change.
Experience it, understand it.
Once a king called upon all of his wise men and asked them "Is there a mantra or suggestion which works in every situation, in every circumstance, in every place and in every time. Something which can help me when none of you is available to advise me. Tell me is there any mantra?"
All wise men got puzzled by King's question.
One answer for all questions? Something that works everywhere, in every situation, in every joy, every sorrow, every defeat and every victory?
They thought and thought.
After a lengthy discussion, an old man suggested something which appealed to all of them. They went to the king and gave him something written on paper. But the condition was that king was not to see it out of curiosity. Only in extreme danger, when the King finds himself alone and there seems to be no way, only then he'll have to see it.
The King put the papers under his Diamond ring.
After a few days, the neighbors attacked the Kingdom. It was a collective surprise attack of the King's enemies.
King and his army fought bravely but lost the battle. King had to fled on his horse. The enemies were following him.
His horse took him far away in the Jungle. He could hear many troops of horses following him and the noise was coming closer and closer.
Suddenly the King found himself standing at the end of the road – that road was not going anywhere. Underneath there was a rocky valley thousand feet deep. If he jumped into it, he would be finished and he could not return because it was a small road.
The sound of enemy's horses was approaching fast. King became restless. There seemed to be no way.
Then suddenly he saw the Diamond in his ring shining in the sun, and he remembered the message hidden in the ring.
He opened the diamond and read the message. The message was very small but very great.
The message was - "Even this shall pass away."
The King read it. Again read it. Suddenly something struck him- Yes! It too will pass. Only a few days ago, I was enjoying my kingdom. I was the mightiest of all the Kings. Yet today, the Kingdom and all his pleasure have gone.
I am here trying to escape from enemies.
However when those days of luxuries have gone, this day of danger too will pass. Calm come on his face. He kept standing there.
The place where he was standing was full of natural beauty. He had never known that such a beautiful place was also a part of his Kingdom. The revelation of the message had a great effect on him. He relaxed and forgot about those following him. After a few minutes he realized that the noise of the horses and the enemy coming was receding. They moved into some other part of the mountains and were not on that path.
The King was very brave. He reorganized his army and fought again. He defeated the enemy and regained his lost empire. When he returned to his empire after victory, he was received with much fan fare at the door. The whole capital was rejoicing in the victory. Everyone was in a festive mood.
Flowers were being thrown on the King from every house, from every corner. People were dancing and singing. For a moment King said to himself," I am one of the bravest and greatest King. It is not easy to defeat me".
With all the reception and celebration he saw an ego emerging in him.
Suddenly the Diamond of his ring flashed in the sunlight and reminded him of the message. He open it and read it again:
"Even this shall pass away."
He became silent. His face went through a total change - from the egoist he moved to a state of utter humbleness.
If this too is going to pass, it is not yours. The defeat was not yours, the victory is not yours. You are just a watcher. Everything passes by we are witness of all this. We are the perceiver.
Life comes and goes.
Happiness comes and goes. Sorrow comes and goes.
Now as you have read this story, just sit silently and evaluate your own life. Think of the moments of joy and victory in your life. Think of the moment of Sorrow and defeat. Are they permanent? They all come and pass away. Life just passes away.
There were friends in the past. They have gone.
There are friends today. They too will go.
There will be new friends tomorrow. They too will go.
There were enemies in the past. They have gone.
There may be enemies in the present. They too will go.
There will be new enemies tomorrow and they too will go.
There is nothing permanent in this world. Everything changes except the law of change. Think over it from your own perspective. You have seen all the changes. You have survived all setbacks, all defeats and all sorrows.
All have passed away. If there are problems in the present, they too will pass away. Because nothing remains forever.
Who are you in reality? Know your real face. Your face is not your true face. It will change with the time. However, there is something in you, which will not change. It will remain unchanged. What is that unchangeable?
It is nothing but your true self. You are just a witness of change.
Experience it, understand it.
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