Tuesday, October 27, 2009
diff between boy and girl..funny
How a BOY withdraws cash from an ATM.
1. Park the car
2. Go to ATM Machine
3. Insert card
4. Enter PIN
5. Take money out
6. Take ATM Card out
7. Drive away
How a GIRL withdraws cash from an ATM
1. Park the car
2. Check makeup
3. Turn off engine
4. Check makeup
5. Go to ATM
6. Hunt for ATM card in the purse
7. Insert card
8. Hit Cancel
9. Hunt in purse for chit with PIN written on it
10. Insert card
11. Enter PIN
12. Take cash
13. Go to car
14. Check makeup
15. Start car
16. Stop car
17. Run back to ATM
18. Take ATM card
19. Back to car
20. Check makeup
21. Start car
22. Check makeup
23. Drive for 1/2 mile
24. Release handbrake
1. Park the car
2. Go to ATM Machine
3. Insert card
4. Enter PIN
5. Take money out
6. Take ATM Card out
7. Drive away
How a GIRL withdraws cash from an ATM
1. Park the car
2. Check makeup
3. Turn off engine
4. Check makeup
5. Go to ATM
6. Hunt for ATM card in the purse
7. Insert card
8. Hit Cancel
9. Hunt in purse for chit with PIN written on it
10. Insert card
11. Enter PIN
12. Take cash
13. Go to car
14. Check makeup
15. Start car
16. Stop car
17. Run back to ATM
18. Take ATM card
19. Back to car
20. Check makeup
21. Start car
22. Check makeup
23. Drive for 1/2 mile
24. Release handbrake
PERFECT BOSS-....
There were about 70 scientists working on a very hectic project. All of
them
were really frustrated due to the pressure of work and the demands of their
boss but everyone was loyal to him and did not think of quitting the job.
One day, one scientist came to his boss and told him - Sir, I have promised
to my children that I will take them to the exhibition going on in our
township. So I want to leave the office at 5 30 pm.
His boss replied "OK, You're permitted to leave the office early today"
The Scientist started working. He continued his work after lunch. As usual
he got involved to such an extent that he looked at his watch when he felt
he was close to completion.The time was 8.30 PM. Suddenly he remembered
of
the promise he had given to his children.
He looked for his boss,,He was not there. Having told him in the morning
itself, he closed everything and left for home.
Deep within himself, he was feeling guilty for having disappointed his
children.He reached home. Children were not there.His wife alone was
sitting
in the hall and reading magazines.
The situation was explosive, any talk would boomerang on him. His wife
asked
him "Would you like to have coffee or shall I straight away serve dinner
if
you are hungry.
The man replied "If you would like to have coffee, i too will have but what
about Children ??"
Wife replied "You don't know ?? Your manager came here at 5.15 PM and has
taken the children to the exhibition "
What had really happened was ... The boss who granted him permission was
observing him working seriously at 5.00 PM. He thought to himself, this
person will not leave the work, but if he has promised his children they
should enjoy the visit to exhibition.
So he took the lead in taking them to exhibition
The boss does not have to do it everytime. But once it is done, loyalty is
established.
That is why all the scientists at Thumba continued to work under their boss
eventhough the stress was tremendous.
By the way , can you hazard a guess as to who the boss was..?
He was none other than Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam,
them
were really frustrated due to the pressure of work and the demands of their
boss but everyone was loyal to him and did not think of quitting the job.
One day, one scientist came to his boss and told him - Sir, I have promised
to my children that I will take them to the exhibition going on in our
township. So I want to leave the office at 5 30 pm.
His boss replied "OK, You're permitted to leave the office early today"
The Scientist started working. He continued his work after lunch. As usual
he got involved to such an extent that he looked at his watch when he felt
he was close to completion.The time was 8.30 PM. Suddenly he remembered
of
the promise he had given to his children.
He looked for his boss,,He was not there. Having told him in the morning
itself, he closed everything and left for home.
Deep within himself, he was feeling guilty for having disappointed his
children.He reached home. Children were not there.His wife alone was
sitting
in the hall and reading magazines.
The situation was explosive, any talk would boomerang on him. His wife
asked
him "Would you like to have coffee or shall I straight away serve dinner
if
you are hungry.
The man replied "If you would like to have coffee, i too will have but what
about Children ??"
Wife replied "You don't know ?? Your manager came here at 5.15 PM and has
taken the children to the exhibition "
What had really happened was ... The boss who granted him permission was
observing him working seriously at 5.00 PM. He thought to himself, this
person will not leave the work, but if he has promised his children they
should enjoy the visit to exhibition.
So he took the lead in taking them to exhibition
The boss does not have to do it everytime. But once it is done, loyalty is
established.
That is why all the scientists at Thumba continued to work under their boss
eventhough the stress was tremendous.
By the way , can you hazard a guess as to who the boss was..?
He was none other than Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam,
Monday, October 26, 2009
Sense of Humor 4 de day! AXE effect........
New Delhi. In what could prove to be a major marketing and legal embarrassment for Hindustan Unilever Limited (HUL), a 26-year-old man has filed a case against the FMCG company, which owns the Axe brand of men grooming products, for ‘cheating’ and causing him ‘mental suffering’. The plaintiff has cited his failure to attract any girl at all even though he’s been using Axe products for over seven years now. Axe advertisements suggest that the products help men in instantly attracting women.
Vaibhav Bedi, the petitioner, also surrendered all his used, unused and half-used deodorant sprays, perfume sticks and roll-ons, anti-perspirants, aftershaves, body washes, shampoos, and hair gels to the court, and demanded a laboratory test of the products and narcotics test of the brand managers of Axe. Vaibhav was pushed to take this step when his bai (maid) beat him with a broom when he tried to impress her in front of her after applying all the Axe products.
Unable to attract even a single girl, frustrated man sues Axe
No girl ever asked Vaibhav to call her
“Where is the Axe effect? I’ve been waiting for it for over seven years. Right from my college to now in my office, no girl ever agreed to even go out for a tea or coffee with me, even though I’m sure they could smell my perfumes, deodorants and aftershaves. I always applied them in abundance to make sure the girls get turned on as they show in the television. Finally I thought I’d try to impress my lonely bai who had an ugly fight with her husband and was living alone for over a year. Axe effect my foot!” Vaibhav expressed his unhappiness.
Vaibhav claims that he had been using all the Axe products as per the company’s instructions even since he first bought them. He argued that if he couldn’t experience the Axe effect despite using the products as directed, either the company was making false claims or selling fake products.
“I had always stored them in cool and dry place, and kept them away from direct light or heat. I’d always use a ruler before applying the spray and make sure that the distance between the nozzle and my armpit was at least 15 centimeters. I’d do everything they told. I even beat up my 5-year-old nephew for coming near my closet, as they had instructed it to keep away from children’s reach. And yet, all I get is a broom beating from my ugly bai.” Vaibhav expressed his frustration.
Vaibhav claims that he had to do go a lot of mental suffering and public humiliation due to the lack of Axe effect and wants HUL to compensate him for this agony. An advocate in Karkardooma court, who happened to mistake Vaibhav for some deodorant vendor when he entered the court premises with all the bottles, has now offered to take up his case in the court. HUL has been served a legal notice in this regard.
HUL has officially declined to comment on the case citing the subject to be sub judice, but our sources inform that the company was worried over the possible outcomes of the case. The company might argue that Vaibhav was hopelessly unattractive and unintelligent and didn’t possess the bare minimum requirements for the Axe effect to take place. Officially HUL has not issued any statement, but legal experts believe that HUL could have tough time convincing the court.
“HUL might be tempted to take that line of argument, but it is very risky. There is no data to substantiate the supposition that unattractive and unintelligent men don’t attract women. In fact some of the best looking women have been known to marry and date absolutely ghoulish guys. I’d suggest that the company settles this issue out of court.” noted lawyer Ram Jhoothmalani said.
Vaibhav Bedi, the petitioner, also surrendered all his used, unused and half-used deodorant sprays, perfume sticks and roll-ons, anti-perspirants, aftershaves, body washes, shampoos, and hair gels to the court, and demanded a laboratory test of the products and narcotics test of the brand managers of Axe. Vaibhav was pushed to take this step when his bai (maid) beat him with a broom when he tried to impress her in front of her after applying all the Axe products.
Unable to attract even a single girl, frustrated man sues Axe
No girl ever asked Vaibhav to call her
“Where is the Axe effect? I’ve been waiting for it for over seven years. Right from my college to now in my office, no girl ever agreed to even go out for a tea or coffee with me, even though I’m sure they could smell my perfumes, deodorants and aftershaves. I always applied them in abundance to make sure the girls get turned on as they show in the television. Finally I thought I’d try to impress my lonely bai who had an ugly fight with her husband and was living alone for over a year. Axe effect my foot!” Vaibhav expressed his unhappiness.
Vaibhav claims that he had been using all the Axe products as per the company’s instructions even since he first bought them. He argued that if he couldn’t experience the Axe effect despite using the products as directed, either the company was making false claims or selling fake products.
“I had always stored them in cool and dry place, and kept them away from direct light or heat. I’d always use a ruler before applying the spray and make sure that the distance between the nozzle and my armpit was at least 15 centimeters. I’d do everything they told. I even beat up my 5-year-old nephew for coming near my closet, as they had instructed it to keep away from children’s reach. And yet, all I get is a broom beating from my ugly bai.” Vaibhav expressed his frustration.
Vaibhav claims that he had to do go a lot of mental suffering and public humiliation due to the lack of Axe effect and wants HUL to compensate him for this agony. An advocate in Karkardooma court, who happened to mistake Vaibhav for some deodorant vendor when he entered the court premises with all the bottles, has now offered to take up his case in the court. HUL has been served a legal notice in this regard.
HUL has officially declined to comment on the case citing the subject to be sub judice, but our sources inform that the company was worried over the possible outcomes of the case. The company might argue that Vaibhav was hopelessly unattractive and unintelligent and didn’t possess the bare minimum requirements for the Axe effect to take place. Officially HUL has not issued any statement, but legal experts believe that HUL could have tough time convincing the court.
“HUL might be tempted to take that line of argument, but it is very risky. There is no data to substantiate the supposition that unattractive and unintelligent men don’t attract women. In fact some of the best looking women have been known to marry and date absolutely ghoulish guys. I’d suggest that the company settles this issue out of court.” noted lawyer Ram Jhoothmalani said.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Must read story....
Sanjay, a rich guy, loved fast cars and he did have a few in his possession.
He loved to speed and could not be bothered about breaking speedlimits. Many a times he was
caught by the cops and speed radars, fined, but still he never bothered until.
One day as he was driving at a very high speed as usual, he saw a cop following him. The cop overtook him finally and asked him to stop
and checked his license. He then took out his pad and started writing, and then handed over the sheet of paper to Sanjay.
How much was this one going to cost?!!!
Wait a minute.
What was this????
Some kind of joke? Certainly not a ticket.
Sanjay began to read:
"Dear Sanjay,
Once upon a time I had a lovely daughter. She was six when killed by a car.
You guessed it - a speeding driver's car.A fine and three months in jail, and the man was free. Free to hug his three daughters.
I only had one, and I'm going to have to wait until Heaven, before I can ever hug her again.
A thousand times I've tried to forgive that man. A thousand times I thought I had. Maybe I did, but I need to do it
again. Even now. Pray for me.. And be careful, Sanjay, my son is all I have left."
Sanjay turned around in time to see the cop's car pull away and head down the road.
He watched until it disappeared. A full 15 minutes later, he too, pulled away and drove slowly home, praying for forgiveness and
hugging a surprised wife and kids when he arrived.
Life is precious. Handle it with care.
Funny how you can send a thousand jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the
sanctity of life, people think twice about sharing. Funny, how when you go to forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you, for sending it to them.Pass this on, you may save a life. Then maybe not, but we'll never know for sure.
He loved to speed and could not be bothered about breaking speedlimits. Many a times he was
caught by the cops and speed radars, fined, but still he never bothered until.
One day as he was driving at a very high speed as usual, he saw a cop following him. The cop overtook him finally and asked him to stop
and checked his license. He then took out his pad and started writing, and then handed over the sheet of paper to Sanjay.
How much was this one going to cost?!!!
Wait a minute.
What was this????
Some kind of joke? Certainly not a ticket.
Sanjay began to read:
"Dear Sanjay,
Once upon a time I had a lovely daughter. She was six when killed by a car.
You guessed it - a speeding driver's car.A fine and three months in jail, and the man was free. Free to hug his three daughters.
I only had one, and I'm going to have to wait until Heaven, before I can ever hug her again.
A thousand times I've tried to forgive that man. A thousand times I thought I had. Maybe I did, but I need to do it
again. Even now. Pray for me.. And be careful, Sanjay, my son is all I have left."
Sanjay turned around in time to see the cop's car pull away and head down the road.
He watched until it disappeared. A full 15 minutes later, he too, pulled away and drove slowly home, praying for forgiveness and
hugging a surprised wife and kids when he arrived.
Life is precious. Handle it with care.
Funny how you can send a thousand jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the
sanctity of life, people think twice about sharing. Funny, how when you go to forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you, for sending it to them.Pass this on, you may save a life. Then maybe not, but we'll never know for sure.
17 signs of falling in love
SEVENTEEN:
U LOOK AT THEIR PROFILE/PICTURE CONSTANTLY
SIXTEEN:
WHEN YOUR ON THE PHONE WITH THEM LATE AT NIGHT AND THEY HANG UP, YOU
STILL MISS THEM EVEN WHEN IT WAS JUST TWO MINUTES AGO.
FIFTEEN:
YOU READ THEIR TEXTS or IMS OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
FOURTEEN:
YOU WALK REALLY SLOW WHEN YOU'RE WITH THEM
THIRTEEN:
YOU FEEL SHY WHENEVER YOU'RE/THEY'RE AROUND.
ELEVEN:
WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THEM, YOUR HEART BEATS FASTER AND SLOWER AT THE
SAME TIME
TEN:
YOU SMILE WHEN YOU HEAR THEIR VOICE.
NINE:
WHEN YOU lOOK AT THEM, YOU CAN'T SEE THE OTHER PEOPLE AROUND YOU, All
YOU SEE IS HIM//HER.
EIGHT:
YOU START LISTENING TO SLOW SONGS, WHILE THINKING OF THEM
SEVEN:
THEY'RE ALL YOU THINK ABOUT.
SIX:
YOU GET HIGH JUST FROM THEIR SCENT.
FIVE:
YOU REALlIZE THAT YOU'RE AlWAYS SMILING TO YOURSELF WHEN YOU THINK
ABOUT THEM.
FOUR:
YOU WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THEM, OR ANYTHING TO SEE THEM.
THREE:
WHILE READING THIS, THERE WAS ONE PERSON ON YOUR MIND THE WHOLE TIME...
TWO:
YOU WERE SO BUSY THINKING ABOUT THAT PERSON, YOU DIDN'T NOTICE NUMBER
TWELVE.
ONE:
YOU JUST SCROLLED UP TO CHECK & ARE NOW SILENTLY LAUGHING AT YOURSELF.
NOW MAKE A WiSH. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.......
*
**
***
**... **
*****
******
... *******
********... *********
*****... ***
*******
****... **
*****
****
... ***
**
*
*
... **
***
****
... *****
******
**... *****
********
*... ********
********
... *******
******
... *****
****
***
... **
*
**
**... *
****
*****
... ******
*******
*... *******
*********
... ********
*******
... ******
*****
... ****
***
IF YOU DIDN'T NOTICE NUMBER 12, POST THIS AS: "17 signs of falling in
LOVE."
*AND SOMETHING GOOD WILL HAPPEN TO YOU TONIGHT
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)