An Official Meeting..Awesome..........

An Official Meeting

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It was a hot meeting at the office conference hall. All the people
from the department had been called. The VP was looking very tensed.
The mood was so bad. My friend asked me -"Hey , what is this meeting
about? I told - May be they will decide on when to have the next
meeting.



We both smiled at each other.



Then the VP started talking. It was about the recent attrition rate that was so high. Around 10 people
had put in their papers. All experienced guys. It was quarter end and so work was huge.

If we do not complete the work on time, we need to be paying heavy penalty said the VP.

The VP turned to the manager and told "Hey - take how much ever resources you want. Recruit or take them from other departments.

But complete the work in another 25 days.Take people and complete it man.



And my sweet manager replied "VP-Give me one wife and nine months and I shall show you results. Don't
give me nine wife's and one month. I cannot do anything."



We all looked at him blank. The VP was not prepared for this answer. I looked
at my manager and thought "what an awesome reply man!"

Worldwide survey

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:
"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"


The survey was a huge failure, In Africa they didn't know what 'food'
meant, In India they didn't know what 'honest' meant, In Europe they
didn't know what 'shortage' meant, In China they didn't know what
'opinion' meant,In the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution'
meant, In South America they didn't know what 'please' meant, And
in the USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant.

Flag this message Life after death....

BOSS said to an employee: "Do you believe in life after Death?

EMPLOYEE: "Certainly not! There ' s no proof of it", he replied.

BOSS : "Well, there is now. After you left early yesterday to go to your uncle ' s funeral, he came here looking for you...

Hillarious

One morning at a doctor’s surgery a patient arrives complaining of
serious back-pain. The doctor examines him and asks him" OK, what
happened to your back?"

The patient replies "You know that I work for a local night club? This
morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my
bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the
balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door and did not find
anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and he
was dressing himself. I grabbed the fridge and threw it at him, That’s how I strained my back"

The 2nd patient arrives looking as if he has been in a car wreck. The
doctor said "My previous patient looked bad, but you look terrible. What
the hell happened to you?"

He replied, "You know I have been unemployed for a while now .Today was
the first day at my new job. I forgot to set my alarm and was running
late. I was running out of the building, getting dressed at the same
time, and you won't believe it but I was hit by a fridge."

The 3rd patient arrives; he looks even worse than the other two
Patients do. The doctor is shocked. Again asks, "What the hell happened
to youuuuuu.....?"


"Well I was sitting in a fridge & someone threw it from the 3rd floor"

Flag this message If u r Planning to Switch.....think twice

Male to Female Ratio Among IT Professionals

Issued in Public Interest


Male to Female Ratio Among IT Professionals

Company M/F Ratio

Rolta 24:1

Mascon Global 19:1

HCL Infosystems 12:1

Adobe 11:1

EDS 500: 1

Digital Globalsoft 7:1

HCL Technologies 6:1

Sun Microsystems 6:1

HP 5:1

Capgemini 5:1

Infosys 5:1

Kshema Technologies 4:1

Wipro 4:1

TCS 4:1

SAP 4:1

Hughes Software Systems 4:1

iFlex 4:1

Philips 3:1

Cognizant Technology 3:1

NIIT 2:1

THOMSON FINANCIALS 1:3


Guys look out for THOMSON.............

And Gals please help EDS.... aaaaaaahhhhhhahahahhah

Please do not laugh!

In U.S. they invented a machine that catches thieves; they took it out
to different countries for a test.

In U.S.A, in 30 minutes, it caught 20 thieves;

In UK , in 30 minutes it
caught 50 thieves;

Spain , in 30 minutes it caught 65 thieves;

Ghana ,
in 30 minutes it caught 600 thieves;






India , in 15 minutes

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the machine was stolen.





I thought I told you not to laugh????????


won't you!!

Flag this message Six Truths Of Life

6 Truths of Life




1. You cannot touch all your top teeth with your tongue.




2. All idiots, after reading the first truth, will try it.





3. And discover that The first truth is a lie.




4. You're smiling now because you're an idiot.


5. You soon will tell this to another idiot.


6. There's still a stupid smile on your face.




I apologize about this
I'm an idiot and I needed company ..