Friday, October 16, 2009
Please do not laugh!
In U.S. they invented a machine that catches thieves; they took it out
to different countries for a test.
In U.S.A, in 30 minutes, it caught 20 thieves;
In UK , in 30 minutes it
caught 50 thieves;
Spain , in 30 minutes it caught 65 thieves;
Ghana ,
in 30 minutes it caught 600 thieves;
India , in 15 minutes
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the machine was stolen.
I thought I told you not to laugh????????
won't you!!
Flag this message Six Truths Of Life
6 Truths of Life
1. You cannot touch all your top teeth with your tongue.
2. All idiots, after reading the first truth, will try it.
3. And discover that The first truth is a lie.
4. You're smiling now because you're an idiot.
5. You soon will tell this to another idiot.
6. There's still a stupid smile on your face.
I apologize about this
I'm an idiot and I needed company ..
TV9 Funny Spoof !!
Funny Spoof !!
Veedi channel lo news ki chinna example (fiction)
manam road meeda velthu untaam. Oka kukka pilla kaalu virigi kuntunthundi. manaki time unte aagi daaniki emi kaavalo chsutham, ledu ante ayyo paapam ani jaali padi vellipothaam.
TV9 reporter velthunnadu, ventane Tv9 office ki oka phone velthundi, vaadu cameraman ni pamputhadu.
Ika modalu........
krishna aa kukka paristhithi ela undi? eppati nunchi akkada undi?
ee kukka morning nunchi ikkade undi, ippudu kuntunthundi......swapna
Akkadi vallu emanna chebuthunnara?... Krishna
Swapna...ikkadi vaallu idi oka kukka ani, daani kaaluku debba thagalatam valla kuntuthundi ani chepthunnaru. ee vidham ga gatham lo aa kukka ee area lo ila kuntaledani, ide thaamu modati saari choodatam ani chepthunnaru
Kuntuthunna Kukka Spandana ela undi? .....krishna
Kukka prasthutham kuntuthundi swapna. Ee vidham ga kaalu ku debba thagalatam kotha anukunta, anduke kuntatam raaka ibbandi paduthundi. Maatlaadinchataniki prayathnichina adi samaadhanam cheppakunda, mooluguthundi.....swapna
Thank you Krishna , eppatikappudu thaaja paristhithi sameekshisthu undtaaniki meeku call chesthu untam.
Idi gaayapadi kuntthunna kukka sthithi meeda maa crime prathinidhi
Krishna andinchina vivaraalu. Ippudu oka chinna break..break tarvatha Kukkalu-Kuntudu amsam pai charchintaniki pramukha doctor Kukkuteswara Rao gaaru mana studio ki vasthunanru.
Break Tarvatha..........
RajniKanth : Cheppandi Kukkuteswara Rao gaaru gatham lo meeru eppudaina ila Kukkalu kunttam chusara? oka vela chusthe aa jaathi kukkalu kuntam chusi untaaru.
Kukkuteswar : Ee vidham ga kukkalu kuntatam idi modati saari kaadu. Prapanchavyaaptham ga enno jaathula kukkalu, enno sandarbhallo ila kuntinattu manaku aadhaaraalu unnai. Kuntataniki jaathi tho sambandam ledu.
RajniKanth : Ante Kukkalu kunteppudu vaatiki emanna badha untunda? Unte etuvanti badha?
Kukkuteswar : Badha lo rakaalu undavandi. Kunteppudu general ga debba thagilna kaalu ki noppi untundi ani Dog's Medical Science lo gatti aadharaalu unnai.
RajniKanth : Thaaja paristhi cheppenduku maa crime prathinidhi
Krishna telephone lo sidham ga unanru...Krishan Cheppandi..aa Kukka Paristhithi ela undi
Krishna : (chevilo ear piece pettukuni bithara chupulu chusthu untaadu)
Krishna Cheppandi..aa Kukka Paristhithi ela undi?
Rajni kukka mooluguthundi, ippude blue cross vallu daanini teesuku vellaru.
Kukka kaalu ki debba thagilindi, daani ithara sareera bhaagalu ela unnai?...krishna
Rajni, Kukka kaalu ki maathrma debba thagilindi. Kaani ee Kukka thoka vankara ga undi.
Vankara ante ela undi...krishna (ippudu Rajni moham lo expression inkekkada chudalemu, stahruvu tanker ni dwamsam cheyyataniki wait chetshunna soldier face lo thappa)
Rajni Vankara ga antecuttukuni undi, nenu appatiki daanini straight cheyyataniki try chetshunnau kaani adi chuttukupothundi. bahusa kaalu ki debba thagalatam valla ani naa uddesam.
Thank you krishna....Kukkuteswar gaaru, kaalu ki debba thagalatam valla thoka vankara ayyi untundi ani maa prathinidhi Kirshna chepthunanru, deeni pai mee spandana enti?
Spandana ante emi untundi ra poondakor vedhava...kukka thoka kaalu ki debba thagalatam valla vankara ayyedi enti ra dhed dimgaa ga. emi manishivi ra nuvvu, ippati varaku nuvvu raasi ichina answers chadivanu, inka naa valla kaadu, naa tea marigipothu untaayi. bangaram laanti Mallayya ane
peru maarchi kukkuteswar rao ani maarchi, shirt pant rent ki techi naaku ichi doctor laaga act cheyyala? ala act chetshe naa tea kottu nunchi eduru ga
unna mee TV9 office ki roju 100 tea order isthara. manassakshi undantra edava
(ila thiduthu undgaane, TV9 logo vachi, merugaina samaajama kosam chusthune undandi TV9 ani vocie vinipinchi ads raavatam modalu ayyindi)
Veedi channel lo news ki chinna example (fiction)
manam road meeda velthu untaam. Oka kukka pilla kaalu virigi kuntunthundi. manaki time unte aagi daaniki emi kaavalo chsutham, ledu ante ayyo paapam ani jaali padi vellipothaam.
TV9 reporter velthunnadu, ventane Tv9 office ki oka phone velthundi, vaadu cameraman ni pamputhadu.
Ika modalu........
krishna aa kukka paristhithi ela undi? eppati nunchi akkada undi?
ee kukka morning nunchi ikkade undi, ippudu kuntunthundi......swapna
Akkadi vallu emanna chebuthunnara?... Krishna
Swapna...ikkadi vaallu idi oka kukka ani, daani kaaluku debba thagalatam valla kuntuthundi ani chepthunnaru. ee vidham ga gatham lo aa kukka ee area lo ila kuntaledani, ide thaamu modati saari choodatam ani chepthunnaru
Kuntuthunna Kukka Spandana ela undi? .....krishna
Kukka prasthutham kuntuthundi swapna. Ee vidham ga kaalu ku debba thagalatam kotha anukunta, anduke kuntatam raaka ibbandi paduthundi. Maatlaadinchataniki prayathnichina adi samaadhanam cheppakunda, mooluguthundi.....swapna
Thank you Krishna , eppatikappudu thaaja paristhithi sameekshisthu undtaaniki meeku call chesthu untam.
Idi gaayapadi kuntthunna kukka sthithi meeda maa crime prathinidhi
Krishna andinchina vivaraalu. Ippudu oka chinna break..break tarvatha Kukkalu-Kuntudu amsam pai charchintaniki pramukha doctor Kukkuteswara Rao gaaru mana studio ki vasthunanru.
Break Tarvatha..........
RajniKanth : Cheppandi Kukkuteswara Rao gaaru gatham lo meeru eppudaina ila Kukkalu kunttam chusara? oka vela chusthe aa jaathi kukkalu kuntam chusi untaaru.
Kukkuteswar : Ee vidham ga kukkalu kuntatam idi modati saari kaadu. Prapanchavyaaptham ga enno jaathula kukkalu, enno sandarbhallo ila kuntinattu manaku aadhaaraalu unnai. Kuntataniki jaathi tho sambandam ledu.
RajniKanth : Ante Kukkalu kunteppudu vaatiki emanna badha untunda? Unte etuvanti badha?
Kukkuteswar : Badha lo rakaalu undavandi. Kunteppudu general ga debba thagilna kaalu ki noppi untundi ani Dog's Medical Science lo gatti aadharaalu unnai.
RajniKanth : Thaaja paristhi cheppenduku maa crime prathinidhi
Krishna telephone lo sidham ga unanru...Krishan Cheppandi..aa Kukka Paristhithi ela undi
Krishna : (chevilo ear piece pettukuni bithara chupulu chusthu untaadu)
Krishna Cheppandi..aa Kukka Paristhithi ela undi?
Rajni kukka mooluguthundi, ippude blue cross vallu daanini teesuku vellaru.
Kukka kaalu ki debba thagilindi, daani ithara sareera bhaagalu ela unnai?...krishna
Rajni, Kukka kaalu ki maathrma debba thagilindi. Kaani ee Kukka thoka vankara ga undi.
Vankara ante ela undi...krishna (ippudu Rajni moham lo expression inkekkada chudalemu, stahruvu tanker ni dwamsam cheyyataniki wait chetshunna soldier face lo thappa)
Rajni Vankara ga antecuttukuni undi, nenu appatiki daanini straight cheyyataniki try chetshunnau kaani adi chuttukupothundi. bahusa kaalu ki debba thagalatam valla ani naa uddesam.
Thank you krishna....Kukkuteswar gaaru, kaalu ki debba thagalatam valla thoka vankara ayyi untundi ani maa prathinidhi Kirshna chepthunanru, deeni pai mee spandana enti?
Spandana ante emi untundi ra poondakor vedhava...kukka thoka kaalu ki debba thagalatam valla vankara ayyedi enti ra dhed dimgaa ga. emi manishivi ra nuvvu, ippati varaku nuvvu raasi ichina answers chadivanu, inka naa valla kaadu, naa tea marigipothu untaayi. bangaram laanti Mallayya ane
peru maarchi kukkuteswar rao ani maarchi, shirt pant rent ki techi naaku ichi doctor laaga act cheyyala? ala act chetshe naa tea kottu nunchi eduru ga
unna mee TV9 office ki roju 100 tea order isthara. manassakshi undantra edava
(ila thiduthu undgaane, TV9 logo vachi, merugaina samaajama kosam chusthune undandi TV9 ani vocie vinipinchi ads raavatam modalu ayyindi)
Evergreen Lovers
To ,
Tintumol
UKG A.
Dear Tintumol,
I love you. My dream I see you. Everywhere you. You no, I live no.
I come red shirt 2morrow. You love I, you come red frock. I wait down
mango tree. You no come, i jump train. Sure come...
yours lovely,
Tutumon
Std 1 B
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .........
Reply....by Tintumol....
Darling, your letter mama see. Papa beat me beat me so many beat me.
I cry. i cry. So no come to mango tree. No jump train. I love you.
See another day. I no red frock. Only green.
You love me, you love me you green shirt. Give I gift. I see you with
pinkumol.
Where you go.. NO talk to her. Okay My dream also only you
Lovely
Tintumol...
Tintumol
UKG A.
Dear Tintumol,
I love you. My dream I see you. Everywhere you. You no, I live no.
I come red shirt 2morrow. You love I, you come red frock. I wait down
mango tree. You no come, i jump train. Sure come...
yours lovely,
Tutumon
Std 1 B
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .........
Reply....by Tintumol....
Darling, your letter mama see. Papa beat me beat me so many beat me.
I cry. i cry. So no come to mango tree. No jump train. I love you.
See another day. I no red frock. Only green.
You love me, you love me you green shirt. Give I gift. I see you with
pinkumol.
Where you go.. NO talk to her. Okay My dream also only you
Lovely
Tintumol...
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Style of girls
Talking Style of girls
If v treat her nice she says "yaar mujhe line de raha hai"
If v dont she says "kitna akarta hai"
If v dress nicely she says "mujhe impress karna chahta hai"
If v dont she says "tasteless hai yaar"
If v argue with her she says "ziddi hai"
If v sit quietly she says "dumb hai"
If v act smarter she'll lose her brain as u r insulting her
If she acts smarter she thinks its her right
If v dont love her she says "is ka to pehle se hi 2,3 ladkiyon ka saath chakkar hai"
If v love her she says "peechhe hi pad gayaa hai"
If v dont tell her ur prob she says " u r not honest 2 me"
If u do tell to her she says "u r a problem child"
If v scold her she says "you act like a grandpa giving lecture"
If she scolds us she says "Yaar, its becoz i care"
If v break a promise she says "She does not trust u any more"
If she breaks she says "jaan main majboor thi....
ladkiyan re ladkiya . .
bechare boys itna sab sehke b chup chap rehte hai.
If v treat her nice she says "yaar mujhe line de raha hai"
If v dont she says "kitna akarta hai"
If v dress nicely she says "mujhe impress karna chahta hai"
If v dont she says "tasteless hai yaar"
If v argue with her she says "ziddi hai"
If v sit quietly she says "dumb hai"
If v act smarter she'll lose her brain as u r insulting her
If she acts smarter she thinks its her right
If v dont love her she says "is ka to pehle se hi 2,3 ladkiyon ka saath chakkar hai"
If v love her she says "peechhe hi pad gayaa hai"
If v dont tell her ur prob she says " u r not honest 2 me"
If u do tell to her she says "u r a problem child"
If v scold her she says "you act like a grandpa giving lecture"
If she scolds us she says "Yaar, its becoz i care"
If v break a promise she says "She does not trust u any more"
If she breaks she says "jaan main majboor thi....
ladkiyan re ladkiya . .
bechare boys itna sab sehke b chup chap rehte hai.
Funny interview Post
Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.
Candidate: I am SAMEER GUPTA. I did my Tele Communication engineering from
BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.
Interviewer: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never heard
of this college before!
Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission
into it . What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly! in 12th.I
was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to
call him 'baap') - "I can not invest so much of money".(The baap actually said
- "I will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this
college. Frankly speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be
related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya.
Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your
engineering.
Candidate: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you
know, these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis
tournaments.. It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and
3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.
Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.
Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try
to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches
really affect exams a lot. I think they should ban it.
Interviewer: Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.
Candidate: No, no... I am talking about Exams!!
Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?
Candidate: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I
would complete it. In fact, when i flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job
for me in BEST (Bus corporation in Maharashtra) through some relative.
Interviewer: Do you have any plans of higher study?
Candidate: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education
itself was so much of pain!!
Interviewer: Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have
you worked?
Candidate: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current
platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can
see I have experience of different platforms! (Vashi and Andheri are the
places in Mumbai)
Interviewer: And which languages have you used?
Candidate: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in
German, French, Russian and many other languages.
Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?
Candidate: It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher
version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new
language VD!
Interviewer: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?
Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the
language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.
Interviewer: What is your general project experience?
Candidate: My general experience about projects is - most of the times
they are in pipeline!
Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?
Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd. Since
joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that
Bench was another software like Windows.
Interviewer: Do you have any project management experience?
Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word and
Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call
and use speaker facility. And very important - I know few words like -
'Showstoppers ' , 'hotfixes',
'SEI-CMM','quality','versioncontrol','deadlines' , 'Customer
Satisfaction' etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!
Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?
Candidate: Not much.
1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.
2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have
deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.
3. I believe in flexi-timings.
4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I
would like to wear t-shirt and jeans.
5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so as to
avoid breakdown due to overwork.
6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term
preferably 2-4 months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and
Europe. But considering the fact that there is a world cup in West Indies in
2007, I don't mind going there in that period. As you can see I am modest and
don't have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?
Interviewer: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our
organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. Welcome to
INFOSYS .. :-))
Candidate: I am SAMEER GUPTA. I did my Tele Communication engineering from
BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.
Interviewer: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never heard
of this college before!
Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission
into it . What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly! in 12th.I
was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to
call him 'baap') - "I can not invest so much of money".(The baap actually said
- "I will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this
college. Frankly speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be
related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya.
Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your
engineering.
Candidate: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you
know, these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis
tournaments.. It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and
3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.
Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.
Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try
to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches
really affect exams a lot. I think they should ban it.
Interviewer: Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.
Candidate: No, no... I am talking about Exams!!
Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?
Candidate: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I
would complete it. In fact, when i flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job
for me in BEST (Bus corporation in Maharashtra) through some relative.
Interviewer: Do you have any plans of higher study?
Candidate: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education
itself was so much of pain!!
Interviewer: Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have
you worked?
Candidate: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current
platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can
see I have experience of different platforms! (Vashi and Andheri are the
places in Mumbai)
Interviewer: And which languages have you used?
Candidate: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in
German, French, Russian and many other languages.
Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?
Candidate: It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher
version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new
language VD!
Interviewer: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?
Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the
language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.
Interviewer: What is your general project experience?
Candidate: My general experience about projects is - most of the times
they are in pipeline!
Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?
Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd. Since
joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that
Bench was another software like Windows.
Interviewer: Do you have any project management experience?
Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word and
Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call
and use speaker facility. And very important - I know few words like -
'Showstoppers ' , 'hotfixes',
'SEI-CMM','quality','versioncontrol','deadlines' , 'Customer
Satisfaction' etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!
Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?
Candidate: Not much.
1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.
2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have
deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.
3. I believe in flexi-timings.
4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I
would like to wear t-shirt and jeans.
5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so as to
avoid breakdown due to overwork.
6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term
preferably 2-4 months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and
Europe. But considering the fact that there is a world cup in West Indies in
2007, I don't mind going there in that period. As you can see I am modest and
don't have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?
Interviewer: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our
organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. Welcome to
INFOSYS .. :-))
Marriage in words of a software engineer
Love Marriage: Resembles procedural programming language. We have some set functions like flirting, going to movies together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate we like.
Arranged Marriage: Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The main object is fixed and various functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or deleted.
Love Marriage: It is a throwaway type of prototype as client requirements rises with time thus it is a dynamic system and difficult to maintain.
Arranged Marriage: Requirements are well defined so use of waterfall model is possible.
Love Marriage: Family system hangs because hardware called parents are not responding.
Arranged Marriage: Compatible with hardware Parents.
Love Marriage: You are the project leader so u are responsible for implementation and execution of PROJECT- married life.
Arranged Marriage: You are a team member under project leader parents so they are responsible for successful execution of project Married life.
Love Marriage: Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking food, washing clothes etc.
Arranged Marriage: All these features are covered in the SRS as required features.
Love Marriage: Acceptance test possible you can try before you Buy.
Arranged Marriage: Product is sold on an as is where is basis, Product once sold will not be taken back
Arranged Marriage: Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The main object is fixed and various functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or deleted.
Love Marriage: It is a throwaway type of prototype as client requirements rises with time thus it is a dynamic system and difficult to maintain.
Arranged Marriage: Requirements are well defined so use of waterfall model is possible.
Love Marriage: Family system hangs because hardware called parents are not responding.
Arranged Marriage: Compatible with hardware Parents.
Love Marriage: You are the project leader so u are responsible for implementation and execution of PROJECT- married life.
Arranged Marriage: You are a team member under project leader parents so they are responsible for successful execution of project Married life.
Love Marriage: Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking food, washing clothes etc.
Arranged Marriage: All these features are covered in the SRS as required features.
Love Marriage: Acceptance test possible you can try before you Buy.
Arranged Marriage: Product is sold on an as is where is basis, Product once sold will not be taken back
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