Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.
Candidate: I am SAMEER GUPTA. I did my Tele Communication engineering from
BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.
Interviewer: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never heard
of this college before!
Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission
into it . What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly! in 12th.I
was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to
call him 'baap') - "I can not invest so much of money".(The baap actually said
- "I will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this
college. Frankly speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be
related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya.
Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your
engineering.
Candidate: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you
know, these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis
tournaments.. It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and
3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.
Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.
Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try
to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches
really affect exams a lot. I think they should ban it.
Interviewer: Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.
Candidate: No, no... I am talking about Exams!!
Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?
Candidate: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I
would complete it. In fact, when i flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job
for me in BEST (Bus corporation in Maharashtra) through some relative.
Interviewer: Do you have any plans of higher study?
Candidate: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education
itself was so much of pain!!
Interviewer: Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have
you worked?
Candidate: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current
platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can
see I have experience of different platforms! (Vashi and Andheri are the
places in Mumbai)
Interviewer: And which languages have you used?
Candidate: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in
German, French, Russian and many other languages.
Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?
Candidate: It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher
version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new
language VD!
Interviewer: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?
Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the
language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.
Interviewer: What is your general project experience?
Candidate: My general experience about projects is - most of the times
they are in pipeline!
Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?
Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd. Since
joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that
Bench was another software like Windows.
Interviewer: Do you have any project management experience?
Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word and
Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call
and use speaker facility. And very important - I know few words like -
'Showstoppers ' , 'hotfixes',
'SEI-CMM','quality','versioncontrol','deadlines' , 'Customer
Satisfaction' etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!
Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?
Candidate: Not much.
1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.
2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have
deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.
3. I believe in flexi-timings.
4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I
would like to wear t-shirt and jeans.
5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so as to
avoid breakdown due to overwork.
6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term
preferably 2-4 months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and
Europe. But considering the fact that there is a world cup in West Indies in
2007, I don't mind going there in that period. As you can see I am modest and
don't have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?
Interviewer: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our
organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. Welcome to
INFOSYS .. :-))
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Marriage in words of a software engineer
Love Marriage: Resembles procedural programming language. We have some set functions like flirting, going to movies together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate we like.
Arranged Marriage: Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The main object is fixed and various functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or deleted.
Love Marriage: It is a throwaway type of prototype as client requirements rises with time thus it is a dynamic system and difficult to maintain.
Arranged Marriage: Requirements are well defined so use of waterfall model is possible.
Love Marriage: Family system hangs because hardware called parents are not responding.
Arranged Marriage: Compatible with hardware Parents.
Love Marriage: You are the project leader so u are responsible for implementation and execution of PROJECT- married life.
Arranged Marriage: You are a team member under project leader parents so they are responsible for successful execution of project Married life.
Love Marriage: Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking food, washing clothes etc.
Arranged Marriage: All these features are covered in the SRS as required features.
Love Marriage: Acceptance test possible you can try before you Buy.
Arranged Marriage: Product is sold on an as is where is basis, Product once sold will not be taken back
Arranged Marriage: Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The main object is fixed and various functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or deleted.
Love Marriage: It is a throwaway type of prototype as client requirements rises with time thus it is a dynamic system and difficult to maintain.
Arranged Marriage: Requirements are well defined so use of waterfall model is possible.
Love Marriage: Family system hangs because hardware called parents are not responding.
Arranged Marriage: Compatible with hardware Parents.
Love Marriage: You are the project leader so u are responsible for implementation and execution of PROJECT- married life.
Arranged Marriage: You are a team member under project leader parents so they are responsible for successful execution of project Married life.
Love Marriage: Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking food, washing clothes etc.
Arranged Marriage: All these features are covered in the SRS as required features.
Love Marriage: Acceptance test possible you can try before you Buy.
Arranged Marriage: Product is sold on an as is where is basis, Product once sold will not be taken back
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Just for laugh
TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!
TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we
didn't have ten years ago.
WILLY: Me!
TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree,
but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish
him?"
Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in his hand."
Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt ?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
Son : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!
TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we
didn't have ten years ago.
WILLY: Me!
TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree,
but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish
him?"
Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in his hand."
Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt ?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
Son : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
Elephant banana series, can you answer atleast one?????????
An elephant has 5 bananas and it is hungry, but yet it does not eat the bananas. Why ?
.
.
.
.
.
Because the bananas are made of plastic.
Next.Q
The 5 bananas are real , but yet the elephant does not eat it. Why?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because the elephant is made of plastic.
Hahhaa.never give up.one more..
Both the elephant and the bananas are real, but yet it cannot eat it.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Why ?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because the bananas are in the TV.
Ooops!!! Cool down.
Both the elephant and the bananas are real and in the TV, but yet it
cannot eat it. Why?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
,
,
,
Because they are on different channels.
Hohohohoohohoh..hehehe
Both the elephant and the bananas are real and in the TV and on the
same channel, but yet it cannot eat it. Why?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Cmon think ..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because the TV is off.
Kikikikikiki J
Now Finally the Elephant gets a chance to eat the bananas.Why?
why the hell do u think so much...let that poor animal have some food....n u get back to your work :D ...heheheh !!!!!!!!
.
.
.
.
.
Because the bananas are made of plastic.
Next.Q
The 5 bananas are real , but yet the elephant does not eat it. Why?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because the elephant is made of plastic.
Hahhaa.never give up.one more..
Both the elephant and the bananas are real, but yet it cannot eat it.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Why ?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because the bananas are in the TV.
Ooops!!! Cool down.
Both the elephant and the bananas are real and in the TV, but yet it
cannot eat it. Why?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
,
,
,
Because they are on different channels.
Hohohohoohohoh..hehehe
Both the elephant and the bananas are real and in the TV and on the
same channel, but yet it cannot eat it. Why?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Cmon think ..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because the TV is off.
Kikikikikiki J
Now Finally the Elephant gets a chance to eat the bananas.Why?
why the hell do u think so much...let that poor animal have some food....n u get back to your work :D ...heheheh !!!!!!!!
Miracle happend at Hyderabad
This is a miracle that happened recently at Hyd. A boy named Vishal n girl named Janavi luved sincerely. They used 2 chat on mobile for hours. In order 2 reduce the expenses, both got same network sim. One day the guy went abroad for a month due to his work. The girl died in an accident during that time. The girls last wish was to bury her along with her mobile. After a month the guy called the girlz mom n said 'Aunty i'will be coming tomrrow. I want this to be a surprise, so dont tell jaanu'. The lady didnt know wat to say. The next day the guy came & asked abt jaanu. Her mother told him about her death but the guy said dont joke, I spoke with her yesterday. Nobody believed. Suddenly the guys mobile rang and it displayed " jaanu calling". He activated d speaker. It was cleary jannu's voice. Then they realised that girl was using vodafone sim. "wherever u go the network follows". Thnx for wasting 2 minutes for reading this messsge as i did.
Monday, October 12, 2009
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