1. If u think a girl is beautiful, she’ll always have a boyfriend to confirm that
2. The nicer she is…the quicker u will be dumped!!!!!
3. The more the makeup, worse the looks…
4. “99% of the girls in this world are beautiful. Remaining 1% would always be in your company.”……………..100% true
5. The guy standing next to a beautiful girl can never be her brother.
6. If by any chance the girl you like , likes you too, she will let you know in about 10 years from now ,when you are committed..
7. The more you ignore a girl, the more she’ll want to be friends with you.
8. Theory of relativity……
The more u run towards a hot chick….the more she goes away from u…
9. Rule 1: Even if you got her out alone… Just when you are about to let her know about your feelings…she will spot a long lost friend( I guess from Kumbh ka Mela)
Corollary to rule 1: The more desperate you are to tell your feelings to a girl on a private chat, the more probability the long lost friend she discovered is a handsome superman, who beats you in everything 9:1
Axiom 1: The more dedicated you are to the girl, the longer it takes before things work out, but ultimately it will (somesmile for the guys)
10. The day the chick you really like comes and speaks to you will be the day when-
1. You are dressed badly
2. You forgot to brush your teeth for the first time in your life
3.Have a bad hair day
11. All the good girls are either nuns or married .the rest go around with u and ruin ur money,health and leave u a total wreck.
12. The more seriously u like a girl…the more seriously her dad will hate u
13. The love you shower a girl with is directly proportional to the number of bullets her dad will be showering at you
Monday, October 5, 2009
Heaven n Hell :)
Once an old man was sitting in the park reading book “learn J2EE in 21days”.
A passer by saw him and asked “U are such an old guy, why do you bother to learn J2EE?
“I have heard that communication language at heaven is J2EE so after my death when I will be in heaven, I don’t want to face communication problem.”old man replied.
“But how come u are so sure that U will be in heaven? It could be a hell also.” he asked.
“Ya,doesn’t matter …. I already know Lotus Notes “
A passer by saw him and asked “U are such an old guy, why do you bother to learn J2EE?
“I have heard that communication language at heaven is J2EE so after my death when I will be in heaven, I don’t want to face communication problem.”old man replied.
“But how come u are so sure that U will be in heaven? It could be a hell also.” he asked.
“Ya,doesn’t matter …. I already know Lotus Notes “
A heart touching story
One Day Anand went to beer shop,
& asked how much a KING FISHER beer costs?
Waiter said Rs. 75
Anand started counting how much he had in his purse.
Then he asked how much a KALYANI beer costs??
Waiter got irritated & said Rs. 72
Anand had a KALYANI beer….
He paid bill and left.
When the waiter came to pick the empty bottle
He was touched………..
Anand had left Rs. 3 as tip for him……..
DRUNKERS……..….. ROCK……………………
& asked how much a KING FISHER beer costs?
Waiter said Rs. 75
Anand started counting how much he had in his purse.
Then he asked how much a KALYANI beer costs??
Waiter got irritated & said Rs. 72
Anand had a KALYANI beer….
He paid bill and left.
When the waiter came to pick the empty bottle
He was touched………..
Anand had left Rs. 3 as tip for him……..
DRUNKERS……..….. ROCK……………………
The Indian way of doing Business
THE Indian way of doing Business
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in
D.C. One from Bangladesh , another from India and the third, from China .
They go with a White House office to examine the fence.
The Bangladesh contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring,
then works some figures with a pencil. “Well”, he says, “I figure the job will run about $900. ($400 for materials, $400 for my team and $100 profit for me)”.
The Chinese contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I can do this job for $700. ($300 for materials, $300 for my team and $100 profit for me)”.
The Indian contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, “$2,700.”
The official, incredulous, says, “You didn’t even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?”
The Indian contractor whispers back, “$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we
hire the guy from China to fix the fence.”
“Done!” replies the government official.
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in
D.C. One from Bangladesh , another from India and the third, from China .
They go with a White House office to examine the fence.
The Bangladesh contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring,
then works some figures with a pencil. “Well”, he says, “I figure the job will run about $900. ($400 for materials, $400 for my team and $100 profit for me)”.
The Chinese contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I can do this job for $700. ($300 for materials, $300 for my team and $100 profit for me)”.
The Indian contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, “$2,700.”
The official, incredulous, says, “You didn’t even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?”
The Indian contractor whispers back, “$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we
hire the guy from China to fix the fence.”
“Done!” replies the government official.
All time hit Jandhyala thitlu…
1. Nalla Cooling glass vesukoni Nalla addamlo choosukuntoo maadipoyina masala dosanu amavaasya roju current poyina timelo tine pinj ari edava.
2. Africa korivi deyyaniki America bhoothaniki akramasanthananiki puttina mohamu nuvvu.
3. Plane lo kerchief esi seat book chesukotaaniki parachute esukelle picchi edava
4. Computer lo “File not found” ani error vosthey ekkada undha ani paina kinda vethukkune verri naayala.
5. Bandaru laddu kosam kothulani (Bandar) ni vetaade panikimaalina moham nuvvu!!
6. Sunday Night Pub ki velli VEDIGAA UPMA UNDAA ani adigedi ebraasi.
7. summer lo sweaterlu ammukune yerri nayala
8. amudam tho omlate veskune.aragundu vedava.
9. Airport lo handkerchiefs ammukuntu thirigeee endipoyina noothilo baavuru kappa facuuu
10. endakalam lo raggu kappukuni vedi coffee thaage pinjaari moham nuvvunu
11. nee hobbies entante chettha kuppalo plastic kaagithalerukovadam ani cheppe kampu facuu nuvvu.
12. Java prog lo class declare cheyamante 5th class ani raase picchi nayala.
13. MNC interview lo HR round ki lungi toh velle laffoth mohamoda.
14. Software Requirement phase lo kirana list raase muganasthapu mohamoda
15. Client to conference ki puli veshamlo velle budabukkaloda
16. pencil adigina pillatho pellainda ani pichapicha prasnalu yese paaapii
17. Balayya cinemaki Black tickets kone face
18. pagilina window glass toh spectacles cheyyinchukune khanjoos gaa
19. bombay cinema choodataniki bombai poye moham
2. Africa korivi deyyaniki America bhoothaniki akramasanthananiki puttina mohamu nuvvu.
3. Plane lo kerchief esi seat book chesukotaaniki parachute esukelle picchi edava
4. Computer lo “File not found” ani error vosthey ekkada undha ani paina kinda vethukkune verri naayala.
5. Bandaru laddu kosam kothulani (Bandar) ni vetaade panikimaalina moham nuvvu!!
6. Sunday Night Pub ki velli VEDIGAA UPMA UNDAA ani adigedi ebraasi.
7. summer lo sweaterlu ammukune yerri nayala
8. amudam tho omlate veskune.aragundu vedava.
9. Airport lo handkerchiefs ammukuntu thirigeee endipoyina noothilo baavuru kappa facuuu
10. endakalam lo raggu kappukuni vedi coffee thaage pinjaari moham nuvvunu
11. nee hobbies entante chettha kuppalo plastic kaagithalerukovadam ani cheppe kampu facuu nuvvu.
12. Java prog lo class declare cheyamante 5th class ani raase picchi nayala.
13. MNC interview lo HR round ki lungi toh velle laffoth mohamoda.
14. Software Requirement phase lo kirana list raase muganasthapu mohamoda
15. Client to conference ki puli veshamlo velle budabukkaloda
16. pencil adigina pillatho pellainda ani pichapicha prasnalu yese paaapii
17. Balayya cinemaki Black tickets kone face
18. pagilina window glass toh spectacles cheyyinchukune khanjoos gaa
19. bombay cinema choodataniki bombai poye moham
Why husbands avoid answers?
WIFE: ‘What would you do if I die? Would you get married again?
HUSBAND: ‘Definitely not!
WIFE: ‘Why not? Don’t you like being married?’
HUSBAND: ‘Of course I do.
WIFE: ‘Then why wouldn’t you remarry?
HUSBAND: ‘Okay, okay, I’d get married again.’
WIFE: ‘You would?’
HUSBAND: …….?
WIFE: ‘Would you live in our house?’
HUSBAND: ‘Sure, it’s a great house.’
WIFE: ‘Would you sleep with her in our bed?’
HUSBAND: ‘Where else would we sleep?’
WIFE: ‘Would you let her drive my car?’
HUSBAND: ‘Probably, it is almost new.’
WIFE: ‘Would you replace my pictures with hers?’
HUSBAND: ‘That would seem like the proper thing to do.’
WIFE: ‘Would you give her my jewelry?’
HUSBAND: ‘No, I’m sure she’d want her own.’
WIFE: ‘Would she wear my shoes’
HUSBAND: ‘No, her size is 6.’
WIFE: — silence -
HUSBAND: ‘Ohh shit.
HUSBAND: ‘Definitely not!
WIFE: ‘Why not? Don’t you like being married?’
HUSBAND: ‘Of course I do.
WIFE: ‘Then why wouldn’t you remarry?
HUSBAND: ‘Okay, okay, I’d get married again.’
WIFE: ‘You would?’
HUSBAND: …….?
WIFE: ‘Would you live in our house?’
HUSBAND: ‘Sure, it’s a great house.’
WIFE: ‘Would you sleep with her in our bed?’
HUSBAND: ‘Where else would we sleep?’
WIFE: ‘Would you let her drive my car?’
HUSBAND: ‘Probably, it is almost new.’
WIFE: ‘Would you replace my pictures with hers?’
HUSBAND: ‘That would seem like the proper thing to do.’
WIFE: ‘Would you give her my jewelry?’
HUSBAND: ‘No, I’m sure she’d want her own.’
WIFE: ‘Would she wear my shoes’
HUSBAND: ‘No, her size is 6.’
WIFE: — silence -
HUSBAND: ‘Ohh shit.
What is LOVE ?
What is LOVE ?
If you love someone because you think that he or she is really gorgeous…
Then it’s not love..
it’s - Infatuation…
If you love someone because you think that you shouldn’t leave him because others think that you shouldn’t…
Then it’s not love..
it’s - Compromise…
If you love someone because you think that you cannot live with out his touch….
Then it’s not love..
it’s - Lust…
If you love someone because you have been kissed by him…
Then it’s not love..
it’s - Inferiority Complex…
If you love someone because you cannot leave him thinking that it would hurt his feelings..
Then it’s not love..
it’s - Charity…
If you love someone because you share every thing with him…
Then it’s not love..
it’s - Friendship…
But if you feel the pain of the other person more than him even when he is stable
And you cry for him..
that’s - LOVE…
If you love someone because you think that he or she is really gorgeous…
Then it’s not love..
it’s - Infatuation…
If you love someone because you think that you shouldn’t leave him because others think that you shouldn’t…
Then it’s not love..
it’s - Compromise…
If you love someone because you think that you cannot live with out his touch….
Then it’s not love..
it’s - Lust…
If you love someone because you have been kissed by him…
Then it’s not love..
it’s - Inferiority Complex…
If you love someone because you cannot leave him thinking that it would hurt his feelings..
Then it’s not love..
it’s - Charity…
If you love someone because you share every thing with him…
Then it’s not love..
it’s - Friendship…
But if you feel the pain of the other person more than him even when he is stable
And you cry for him..
that’s - LOVE…
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