Happy Tears Vs Sad Tears

“There was a study done where a control group of 100 people were divided into two.”

50 people watched a very funny, tears-of laughter type movie. 50 watched a very sad and tears of compassion/tragedy type movie.
At the end of the sessions researchers collected the “happy tears” and the sad tears” with eye droppers.
They found that “happy tears” are made up of brine, Salt water and not a great deal else.
However the “sad tears” were found to contain the very same chemicals and enzymes that are found in tumors, ulcers and other such lumps and bumps and sicknesses through out the body.
This test concluded that the body, when crying in sadness etc is literally flushing out all of the toxic-chemicals that accumulate and are a part of the sadness /heartache experience.

Therefore if one holds back those tears, those toxic-waters will find somewhere else to deposit themselves, and prolonged lack-of-crying- release will guarantee that the body will accumulate a huge amount of internal pollution and toxicity that should have been released through the tears. Is it any wonder that the eyes sting so much when we hold back our tears?

NO WONDER MEN DIE EARLIER THAN WOMEN.
MEN HOLD ON TO THEIR PRIDE WHICH Leads THEM TO EARLY DEATH!!!!

LESSON FROM THE STUDY:

CRY YOUR HEART OUT WHEN YOU ARE SAD, LONELY , ALONE, DEPRESSED.
IT IS GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH!

INSTALLING HUSBAND....aahahhahahah

INSTALLING HUSBAND
A woman writes to the IT Technical support Guy


Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and Jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under
Boyfriend 5.0...

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5...0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
____________ _________ _________ ____________ _________ _________ ____________ _________ ______

Reply

DEAR Madam,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: IThoughtYouLovedMe.Html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband1...0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend:  Cooking 3.0 and Hot Looks 7.7.

Good Luck Madam!

Self Appraisal....awesome

A little boy went to a telephone booth which was at the cash counter of a
store and dialed a number.
The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation:  
   
Boy                : "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?
 
Woman         : (at the other end of the phone line) "I already have Someone to cut my lawn."  
Boy                : "Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price than the person who cuts your lawn now."  
Woman         : I'm very satisfied with the person who is presently Cutting my lawn.  
Boy                : (with more perseverance) "Lady, I'll even sweep the Floor and the stairs of your house for free.
Woman          : No, thank you.  
 
 With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver. The Store-owner, who was listening to all this, walked over to the boy.  
 
Store Owner       : "Son... I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a  job."  
Boy                       : "No thanks,  
Store Owner       :  But you were really pleading for one.
 
 
 
Can you Guess, what was the boys reply?  
 
Boy                       : No Sir, I was just checking my performance at the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady I was talking to!"  
 
    
This is called         "Self Appraisal"
 

Some male bashing..... (For a change)...

Q: What is the difference between men and puppies?
A: Puppies grow up.


Q: Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces?
A: Because they are...


Q: What do men have in common with ceramic tiles?
A: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever.


Q: If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane, which one would
hit the ground first?
A: Who cares?????.....


Q: What did God say after he created man?
A: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!!!.


Q: What's the difference between an intelligent man & a UFO ?
A: I don't know, I've never seen either.


Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
A: i) no mind ii) no business


Q: Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?
A:! Because even back then men wouldn't ask for directions .

Q: What is the difference between men and pigs?
A: Pigs don't turn into men when they drink...


Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no
intention of driving.


Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift?
A: Exchange him!!


Q: Why do men like smart women?
A: Opposites attract.

Impact of Job change

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.
For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said:
"Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!".
The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much."
The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving a van carrying dead Bodies for the last 25 years.......u can imagine what went into my mind when u touched my back!!

Vacuum cleaner..nice one

A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the  First house of the street.
 
 A tall lady answered the door.
 
 Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the living room and opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the  cow droppings onto the carpet.
 
 "Madam, if I could not clean this up with the use of this new
 
 powerful Vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this dung!" exclaimed the eager salesman.
 
 "Do you need chilly sauce or ketchup with that" .asked the lady.
 
 The bewildered salesman asked, "Why, madam?"
 
 "There's no electricity in the house..." said the lady
 
 MORAL: Gather all resources before working on any project and Committing to the client...!!!  

Golf Balls....Excellent

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle,
When 24 Hours in a day is not enough,
Remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class
And had some items in ?front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly,
He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar
and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students, if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured
them into the jar. ? He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open Areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. ?They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively
filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor,  as the laughter subsided,
'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things - family,
children, health, Friends, and Favorite passions –
Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, Your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car.

The sand is everything else --The small stuff.

'If you put the sand into the jar first,' He continued,
'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,
You will never have room for the things that are important to you.

So...

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play With your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.

There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

'Take care of the golf balls first --
The things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled.
'I'm glad you asked'.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'

Communication.................awesome

Arab person sends an e-mail to his Dad saying:
 
Dear Dad,
 
Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad,
 
I am bit ashamed to arrive to my college with my Gold Mercedes, when all
My Teachers travel by train.
 
Your Son
Nasser
 
 **********************************************************************
 
Sometime later Nasser gets reply to his e-mail from his Dad:
 
Loving son,
 
Twenty Million Dollars transferred to your account, please stop
embarrassing us, go and get yourself a train too.
 
Your Dad

 **********************************************************************

Are you an Out of Box Thinker..?? - check out...

Brain Benders:  Each Right Question receives 1 point (a total of 10 points for 10 questions. No points for wrong answer.

Score:

• 0 points: Needs help!  
• 1 - 3 points: Good Thinker
• 4 - 6 points: Intelligent  
• 7 - 9 points: Extraordinary  
• 10 points: Genius!

 

Its easy to scroll thru the answer… Just give a Serious and sincere try.


Q1: A father and his son are involved in a car accident, as a result of which the son is rushed to hospital for emergency surgery. The surgeon looks at him and says "I can't operate on him, he's my son". Explain. (The answer is not "step-father"!)


Q1 Ans: The surgeon is the mother!    

Q2: What can you hold in your right hand, but not in your left?
 

Q2 Ans: Left Elbow.


Q3: How many birthdays does a typical woman have?

Q3 Ans: 1 birthday.


Q4: If a plane crashes on the Indian/Pakistan border, where do you bury the survivors?
 
Q4 Ans: You can't burry survivors!

Q5: A cowboy rode into town on Friday, spent one night there, and left on Friday. How do you account for this?
Q5 Ans: The name of his horse was Friday.

Q6: Which side of a cat contains the most hair?
Q6 Ans: The outside.

Q7: Is it legal for a man to marry his widow's sister?
Q7 Ans: The man is dead so he can't marry even if he wanted to!

Q8: Gaurav looked through the dirty window on the 24th floor of his office building. Depressed, he slid the window open and jumped through it. It was a sheer drop from the building to the ground. Miraculously after he landed he was completely unhurt. There was nothing to cushion his fall or slow his descent, yet he survived. Explain?
 
Q8 Ans: Gaurav being a window cleaner, was cleaning the window form the outside, opened the window, and jumped inside.

Q9: A man and his wife drove at full speed through the streets. They stopped, and the husband got out of the car. When he came back, his wife was dead, and there was a stranger in the car. Explain?
Q9 Ans: The wife was pregnant and delivered the baby inside the car and died. However, the baby survived.

Q10: Why can't a man living in Delhi not be buried in Mumbai?
 
Q10 Ans: Because the man is still alive!  

Sounds Crazy ha… JJJ

So Whats the score..??

I am Sorry MOM (Plz read it fully)..heart touching

“I am Sorry MOM”

 As  I got up today, I felt the smell of fresh coffee. I woke up to see a cup of coffee with some biscuits kept at my bedside table. This reminded me of home. The old school and college days, when mumma used to wake me up by serving a steaming cup of coffee. The aroma, the taste, so refreshing, still so fresh in my memories.  A sudden thought hit me, “I was in bed, so who prepared this coffee for me? Is it a dream?” I pinched myself and that hurts, which meant I was not dreaming. I walked out of the room with the cup of coffee, in search of my roommate. I asked him whether he prepared that for me, and the answer was YES.

I was relaxed but somehow my heart wanted him to say NO. A no because I wanted to be in a belief that my mom prepared it for me. The whole scene reminded me of mom, and I missed her at that moment. I got ready for the office and all set to leave, when I noticed a lunch box kept at dinning table just for me. I thanked God saying, “finally he(cook) turned up”. I took the box and left for office.On my way, I was thinking about those days, when mumma used to cook my every meal. All her possible ways by which she could stuff her  son. I could not remember any single day when I slept without food. Maggi, chips, biscuits, all junk food was banned and I always cooked maggi when I was sure that mom was not around. But now, I no more enjoy cooking maggi for myself. Almost everyday I eat it, not because I like it, but because I am left with no other option at times.

This very thought brought tears to my eyes and I decided to call up mom. I reached office and gave mom a call. The first thing she asked was, “Is everything alright?”. I was speechless. And  I thought, how the time has changed. When I was with her, I used to nag her by calling after every hour when I was out with friends. In those days she never asked me what was wrong, as she knew that it was my habit. My call at this point of day to her, means that I am in trouble. Time has changed, she is still the same, its me who has changed. But I continued my conversation saying that I just called up to ask how she was, and how are things going on with her. And we continued our conversation. Then suddenly an ice-breaker came when she asked, “Don’t you have any work today?” I was shocked and asked her why she asked that, in reply to which she said, it was almost 30 minutes, I have been talking to her.

I hurriedly ended the conversation saying I have to attend a meeting. I lied to her and deep down I know, she knows that I lied to her but what else can I do? The lady with whom I used to have endless conversations, sleepless nights of gossips… has all ended. I am so occupied with my new life that I forgot to spend few hours with her.

I roll backed the time and thought of every single day that I have not spent with her. This made me realize that there was not a single day when I was busy, busy in a sense to neglect my mom. The lady who gave her whole life just for me, I could not even give her the time that she deserved. I remembered how I used to tell her about all my daily happenings and how I always failed to ask about her day. It left me all in tears. I missed her and missed her to core.

I was feeling ashamed, because it was a cup of coffee that made me realize her presence in my world.

We all are here, away from our family, living with our friends, who are our new family. We spend our lunch time with them gossiping about what’s going in and around, weekends, shopping with them and even festivals as most of us are staying too far from home. And when we call home, we are in a hurry to hang up as most of are BUSY. Are we really that busy?

Think of the lady whom we have left back at home. She still misses her son/daughter at the dining table, although most of us enjoy our meals with our friends and colleagues. She still waits all day just to hear her son/daughter’s voice at the end of the day and we, we spend our time on phone with friends

Is it really that we don’t have time or is it just we are too busy with our new life?

I apologize to all the mothers in this world and thank them for what we are today………….

Why Indian mom's are the best in the world

A young Indian man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that
he is going to get married. He says, "Ma, I'm going to bring over 3 women
and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry."
The mother agrees.
The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them
down on the couch and they chat for a while. Later, he says, "Okay Ma,
guess which one I'm going to marry."
She immediately replies, "The one on the right."
" That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"    

The Indian mother replies,

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" I don't like her "   ....!!!!!!!!!!   ;-)

Am I with a right partner ? - Excellent Article

Am I with a right partner? - Nice Article

During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right person?" the author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind replied the author. Here's the answer.

Every relationship has a cycle...In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU. Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the
initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfilment. Extramarital fulfilment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this): The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.


SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner). Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know and apply these laws, the results are predictable. Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.

Remember this always:
God determines who walks into your life.
It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay,
and who you refuse to let GO!!!