Impact of Job change

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.
For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said:
"Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!".
The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much."
The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving a van carrying dead Bodies for the last 25 years.......u can imagine what went into my mind when u touched my back!!

Vacuum cleaner..nice one

A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the  First house of the street.
 
 A tall lady answered the door.
 
 Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the living room and opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the  cow droppings onto the carpet.
 
 "Madam, if I could not clean this up with the use of this new
 
 powerful Vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this dung!" exclaimed the eager salesman.
 
 "Do you need chilly sauce or ketchup with that" .asked the lady.
 
 The bewildered salesman asked, "Why, madam?"
 
 "There's no electricity in the house..." said the lady
 
 MORAL: Gather all resources before working on any project and Committing to the client...!!!  

Golf Balls....Excellent

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle,
When 24 Hours in a day is not enough,
Remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class
And had some items in ?front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly,
He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar
and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students, if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured
them into the jar. ? He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open Areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. ?They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively
filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor,  as the laughter subsided,
'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things - family,
children, health, Friends, and Favorite passions –
Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, Your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car.

The sand is everything else --The small stuff.

'If you put the sand into the jar first,' He continued,
'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,
You will never have room for the things that are important to you.

So...

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play With your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.

There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

'Take care of the golf balls first --
The things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled.
'I'm glad you asked'.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'

Communication.................awesome

Arab person sends an e-mail to his Dad saying:
 
Dear Dad,
 
Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad,
 
I am bit ashamed to arrive to my college with my Gold Mercedes, when all
My Teachers travel by train.
 
Your Son
Nasser
 
 **********************************************************************
 
Sometime later Nasser gets reply to his e-mail from his Dad:
 
Loving son,
 
Twenty Million Dollars transferred to your account, please stop
embarrassing us, go and get yourself a train too.
 
Your Dad

 **********************************************************************

Are you an Out of Box Thinker..?? - check out...

Brain Benders:  Each Right Question receives 1 point (a total of 10 points for 10 questions. No points for wrong answer.

Score:

• 0 points: Needs help!  
• 1 - 3 points: Good Thinker
• 4 - 6 points: Intelligent  
• 7 - 9 points: Extraordinary  
• 10 points: Genius!

 

Its easy to scroll thru the answer… Just give a Serious and sincere try.


Q1: A father and his son are involved in a car accident, as a result of which the son is rushed to hospital for emergency surgery. The surgeon looks at him and says "I can't operate on him, he's my son". Explain. (The answer is not "step-father"!)


Q1 Ans: The surgeon is the mother!    

Q2: What can you hold in your right hand, but not in your left?
 

Q2 Ans: Left Elbow.


Q3: How many birthdays does a typical woman have?

Q3 Ans: 1 birthday.


Q4: If a plane crashes on the Indian/Pakistan border, where do you bury the survivors?
 
Q4 Ans: You can't burry survivors!

Q5: A cowboy rode into town on Friday, spent one night there, and left on Friday. How do you account for this?
Q5 Ans: The name of his horse was Friday.

Q6: Which side of a cat contains the most hair?
Q6 Ans: The outside.

Q7: Is it legal for a man to marry his widow's sister?
Q7 Ans: The man is dead so he can't marry even if he wanted to!

Q8: Gaurav looked through the dirty window on the 24th floor of his office building. Depressed, he slid the window open and jumped through it. It was a sheer drop from the building to the ground. Miraculously after he landed he was completely unhurt. There was nothing to cushion his fall or slow his descent, yet he survived. Explain?
 
Q8 Ans: Gaurav being a window cleaner, was cleaning the window form the outside, opened the window, and jumped inside.

Q9: A man and his wife drove at full speed through the streets. They stopped, and the husband got out of the car. When he came back, his wife was dead, and there was a stranger in the car. Explain?
Q9 Ans: The wife was pregnant and delivered the baby inside the car and died. However, the baby survived.

Q10: Why can't a man living in Delhi not be buried in Mumbai?
 
Q10 Ans: Because the man is still alive!  

Sounds Crazy ha… JJJ

So Whats the score..??

I am Sorry MOM (Plz read it fully)..heart touching

“I am Sorry MOM”

 As  I got up today, I felt the smell of fresh coffee. I woke up to see a cup of coffee with some biscuits kept at my bedside table. This reminded me of home. The old school and college days, when mumma used to wake me up by serving a steaming cup of coffee. The aroma, the taste, so refreshing, still so fresh in my memories.  A sudden thought hit me, “I was in bed, so who prepared this coffee for me? Is it a dream?” I pinched myself and that hurts, which meant I was not dreaming. I walked out of the room with the cup of coffee, in search of my roommate. I asked him whether he prepared that for me, and the answer was YES.

I was relaxed but somehow my heart wanted him to say NO. A no because I wanted to be in a belief that my mom prepared it for me. The whole scene reminded me of mom, and I missed her at that moment. I got ready for the office and all set to leave, when I noticed a lunch box kept at dinning table just for me. I thanked God saying, “finally he(cook) turned up”. I took the box and left for office.On my way, I was thinking about those days, when mumma used to cook my every meal. All her possible ways by which she could stuff her  son. I could not remember any single day when I slept without food. Maggi, chips, biscuits, all junk food was banned and I always cooked maggi when I was sure that mom was not around. But now, I no more enjoy cooking maggi for myself. Almost everyday I eat it, not because I like it, but because I am left with no other option at times.

This very thought brought tears to my eyes and I decided to call up mom. I reached office and gave mom a call. The first thing she asked was, “Is everything alright?”. I was speechless. And  I thought, how the time has changed. When I was with her, I used to nag her by calling after every hour when I was out with friends. In those days she never asked me what was wrong, as she knew that it was my habit. My call at this point of day to her, means that I am in trouble. Time has changed, she is still the same, its me who has changed. But I continued my conversation saying that I just called up to ask how she was, and how are things going on with her. And we continued our conversation. Then suddenly an ice-breaker came when she asked, “Don’t you have any work today?” I was shocked and asked her why she asked that, in reply to which she said, it was almost 30 minutes, I have been talking to her.

I hurriedly ended the conversation saying I have to attend a meeting. I lied to her and deep down I know, she knows that I lied to her but what else can I do? The lady with whom I used to have endless conversations, sleepless nights of gossips… has all ended. I am so occupied with my new life that I forgot to spend few hours with her.

I roll backed the time and thought of every single day that I have not spent with her. This made me realize that there was not a single day when I was busy, busy in a sense to neglect my mom. The lady who gave her whole life just for me, I could not even give her the time that she deserved. I remembered how I used to tell her about all my daily happenings and how I always failed to ask about her day. It left me all in tears. I missed her and missed her to core.

I was feeling ashamed, because it was a cup of coffee that made me realize her presence in my world.

We all are here, away from our family, living with our friends, who are our new family. We spend our lunch time with them gossiping about what’s going in and around, weekends, shopping with them and even festivals as most of us are staying too far from home. And when we call home, we are in a hurry to hang up as most of are BUSY. Are we really that busy?

Think of the lady whom we have left back at home. She still misses her son/daughter at the dining table, although most of us enjoy our meals with our friends and colleagues. She still waits all day just to hear her son/daughter’s voice at the end of the day and we, we spend our time on phone with friends

Is it really that we don’t have time or is it just we are too busy with our new life?

I apologize to all the mothers in this world and thank them for what we are today………….

Why Indian mom's are the best in the world

A young Indian man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that
he is going to get married. He says, "Ma, I'm going to bring over 3 women
and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry."
The mother agrees.
The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them
down on the couch and they chat for a while. Later, he says, "Okay Ma,
guess which one I'm going to marry."
She immediately replies, "The one on the right."
" That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"    

The Indian mother replies,

............
..............
...
....
....
....
.....
..
..
..
..
.
............
..............
.


............
..........................

" I don't like her "   ....!!!!!!!!!!   ;-)

Am I with a right partner ? - Excellent Article

Am I with a right partner? - Nice Article

During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right person?" the author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind replied the author. Here's the answer.

Every relationship has a cycle...In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU. Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the
initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfilment. Extramarital fulfilment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this): The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.


SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner). Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know and apply these laws, the results are predictable. Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.

Remember this always:
God determines who walks into your life.
It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay,
and who you refuse to let GO!!!

Awesome Revenge

A very shy young man goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting alone.

After an hour he gathers enough courage to go and ask her,”

Er...excuse me, but would you mind if I sat here beside you? "

She responds in a loud voice: “NO, I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!”

Everyone in the bar turns to stare at them. The young man is surprised, shocked and embarrassed and goes back to his table.

After a few minutes the woman walks over to him smiles, apologizes, and says," You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations. "
The young man responds loudly with,

“WHAT!!! THREE THOUSAND RUPEES.!!! THAT'S TOO MUCH ! "

HOW TO PUT THE RIGHT PERSON IN THE RIGHT JOB?

Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a

closed room with an

open window. Then send 2-3 candidates into the room

and close it from

outside.

Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours, and then

analyze the

situation:



(a) If they are counting and recounting the number of

bricks - PUT

THEM

IN ACCOUNTS.



(b) If they have messed up the whole place with the

bricks - PUT THEM

IN

ENGINEERING.



(c) If they are arranging the bricks in some other

order - PUT THEM IN

PLANNING.



(d) If they are throwing the bricks at each other -

PUT THEM IN

OPERATIONS.



(e) If they are sleeping - PUT THEM IN SECURITY.



(f) If they have broken! the bricks into pieces - PUT

THEM IN

INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY.



(g) If they are sitting idle - PUT THEM IN THE HUMAN

RESOURCE

DEPARTMENT.



(h) If they have thrown the bricks out of the window -

PUT THEM IN THE

MATERIALS DEPARTMENT.



(i) If they have already left for the day - PUT THEM

IN MARKETING.



(j) If they are talking to each other and not a single

brick has

moved -

PUT THEM IN TOP MANAGEMENT !!!!

Define BIRTHDAY..superb

Fantastic answer by Dr Kalam to a question asked at the BBC,
Define BIRTHDAY.........

Answer = the only day in your life, when you cried and your Mother was smiling..............

Think!!!!!!!!

Who sells the largest number of cameras in India?

Your guess is likely to be Sony, Canon or Nikon. Answer is none of the
above. The winner is Nokia whose main line of business in India is not
cameras but cell phones.

Reason being cameras bundled with cellphones are outselling stand alone
cameras. Now, what prevents the cellphone from replacing the camera
outright? Nothing at all. One can only hope the Sonys and Canons are
taking
note.
Try this. Who is the biggest in music business in India? You think it is
HMV Sa-Re-Ga-Ma? Sorry. The answer is Airtel. By selling caller tunes
(that
play for 30 seconds) Airtel makes more than what music companies make by
selling music albums (that run for hours).

Incidentally Airtel is not in music business. It is the mobile service
provider with the largest subscriber base in India. That sort of
competitor
is difficult to detect, even more difficult to beat (by the time you
have
identified him he has already gone past you). But if you imagine that
Nokia
and Bharti (Airtel's parent) are breathing easy you can't be farther
from
truth.
Nokia confessed that they all but missed the smartphone bus. They admit
that Apple's Iphone and Google's Android can make life difficult in
future.
But you never thought Google was a mobile company, did you? If these
illustrations mean anything, there is a bigger game unfolding. It is not
so
much about mobile or music or camera or emails?
The "Mahabharat" (the great Indian epic battle) is about "what is
tomorrow's personal digital device"? Will it be a souped up mobile or a
palmtop with a telephone? All these are little wars that add up to that
big
battle. Hiding behind all these wars is a gem of a question - "who is my
competitor?"

Once in a while, to intrigue my students I toss a question at them. It
says
"What Apple did to Sony, Sony did to Kodak, explain?" The smart ones get
the answer almost immediately. Sony defined its market as audio (music
from
the walkman). They never expected an IT company like Apple to encroach
into
their audio domain. Come to think of it, is it really surprising? Apple
as
a computer maker has both audio and video capabilities. So what made
Sony
think he won't compete on pure audio? "Elementary Watson". So also Kodak
defined its business as film cameras, Sony defines its businesses as
"digital."

In digital camera the two markets perfectly meshed. Kodak was torn
between
going digital and sacrificing money on camera film or staying with films
and getting left behind in digital technology. Left undecided it lost in
both. It had to. It did not ask the question "who is my competitor for
tomorrow?" The same was true for IBM whose mainframe revenue prevented
it
from seeing the PC. The same was true of Bill Gates who declared
"internet
is a fad!" and then turned around to bundle the browser with windows to
bury Netscape. The point is not who is today's competitor. Today's
competitor is obvious. Tomorrow's is not.

In 2008, who was the toughest competitor to British Airways in India?
Singapore airlines? Better still, Indian airlines? Maybe, but there are
better answers. There are competitors that can hurt all these airlines
and
others not mentioned. The answer is videoconferencing and telepresence
services of HP and Cisco. Travel dropped due to recession. Senior IT
executives in India and abroad were compelled by their head quarters to
use
videoconferencing to shrink travel budget. So much so, that the mad
scramble for American visas from Indian techies was nowhere in sight in
2008. (India has a quota of something like 65,000 visas to the U.S. They
were going a-begging. Blame it on recession!). So far so good. But to
think
that the airlines will be back in business post recession is something I
would not bet on. In short term yes. In long term a resounding no.
Remember, if there is one place where Newton's law of gravity is
applicable
besides physics it is in electronic hardware. Between 1977 and 1991 the
prices of the now dead VCR (parent of Blue-Ray disc player) crashed to
one-third of its original level in India. PC's price dropped from
hundreds
of thousands of rupees to tens of thousands. If this trend repeats then
telepresence prices will also crash. Imagine the fate of airlines then.
As
it is not many are making money. Then it will surely be RIP!

India has two passions. Films and cricket. The two markets were
distinctly
different. So were the icons. The cricket gods were Sachin and Sehwag.
The
filmi gods were the Khans (Aamir Khan, Shah Rukh Khan and the other
Khans
who followed suit). That was, when cricket was fundamentally test
cricket
or at best 50 over cricket. Then came IPL and the two markets collapsed
into one. IPL brought cricket down to 20 overs. Suddenly an IPL match
was
reduced to the length of a 3 hour movie. Cricket became film's
competitor.
On the eve of IPL matches movie halls ran empty. Desperate multiplex
owners
requisitioned the rights for screening IPL matches at movie halls to
hang
on to the audience. If IPL were to become the mainstay of cricket, as it
is
likely to be, films have to sequence their releases so as not clash with
IPL matches. As far as the audience is concerned both are what in India
are
called 3 hour "tamasha" (entertainment). Cricket season might push films
out of the market.

Look at the products that vanished from India in the last 20 years. When
did you last see a black and white movie? When did you last use a
fountain
pen? When did you last type on a typewriter? The answer for all the
above
is "I don't remember!" For some time there was a mild substitute for the
typewriter called electronic typewriter that had limited memory. Then
came
the computer and mowed them all. Today most technologically challenged
guys
like me use the computer as an upgraded typewriter. Typewriters per se
are
nowhere to be seen.

One last illustration. 20 years back what were Indians using to wake
them
up in the morning? The answer is "alarm clock." The alarm clock was a
monster made of mechanical springs. It had to be physically keyed every
day
to keep it running. It made so much noise by way of alarm, that it woke
you
up and the rest of the colony. Then came quartz clocks which were
sleeker.
They were much more gentle though still quaintly called "alarms." What
do
we use today for waking up in the morning? Cellphone! An entire industry
of
clocks disappeared without warning thanks to cell phones. Big watch
companies like Titan were the losers. You never know in which bush your
competitor is hiding!

On a lighter vein, who are the competitors for authors? Joke spewing
machines? (Steve Wozniak, the co-founder of Apple, himself a Pole,
tagged a
Polish joke telling machine to a telephone much to the mirth of Silicon
Valley). Or will the competition be story telling robots? Future is
scary!
The boss of an IT company once said something interesting about the
animal
called competition. He said "Have breakfast ...or.... be breakfast"!
That
sums it up rather neatly.

Flying Parota..awesome

Couldn't resist......read this interesting

Read this…and decide who is intelligent- Donkey or the DOG…




The Donkey and the Dog- Read and think-You may find one in your midst




There was once a washer man who had a donkey and a dog. One night when the whole world was sleeping, a thief broke into the house, the washer man was fast asleep too but the donkey and the dog were awake. The dog decided not to bark since the master did not take good care of him and wanted to teach him a lesson.

The donkey got worried and said to the dog that if he doesn't bark, the donkey will have to do something himself. The dog did not change his mind and the donkey started braying loudly.

Hearing the donkey bray, the thief ran away, the master woke up and started beating the donkey for braying in the middle of the night for no reason.
Moral of the story “One must not engage in duties other than his own"






Now take a new look at the same story...

The washer man was a well educated man from a premier management institute. He had the fundas of looking at the bigger picture and thinking out of the box. He was convinced that there must be some reason for the donkey to bray in the night.. He walked outside a little and did some fact finding, applied a bottom up approach, figured out from the ground realities that there was a thief who broke in and the donkey only wanted to alert him about it. Looking at the donkey's extra initiative and going beyond the call of the duty, he rewarded him with lot of hay and other perks and became his favorite pet.
The dog's life didn't change much, except that now the donkey was more motivated in doing the dog's duties as well. In the annual appraisal the dog managed "ME" (Met Expectations) .

Soon the dog realized that the donkey is taking care of his duties and he can enjoy his life sleeping and lazing around.

The donkey was rated as “star performer". The donkey had to live up to his already high performance standards.
Soon he was over burdened with work and always under pressure and now is looking for a NEW JOB ... !!!!



Disclaimer: All characters in the story are not at all imaginary. Any resemblance to person living or dying of work is purely intentional....!!