I've some doubts.. Can u please clarify me???
1. When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? (to be given a thought)
2. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that
stuff? (very good thinking)
3. Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? (who knows)
4. Can you cry under water? (let me try)
5. Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day? (I think they meant something else)
6. Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed? (God knows)
7. Do fish ever get thirsty? (let me ask and tell)
8. Can you get cornered in a round room? (by ones eyes)
9. Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep? (tonight I will stay and watch)
10. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oils made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? (No comments)
11. What should one call a male ladybird? (No comments)
12. If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot? (can somebody help )
13. Can you blow a balloon up under water? (yes u can)
14. Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? (strange isn't it)
15. If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be able to hear it? (got to think scientifically)
16. If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?
17. Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road?
18. If DRINK & DRIVE is ILLEGAL, why the hell they have parking in Bars?
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Good One....
A worried woman went to her gynecologist and said: "Doctor, I have a serious problem and desperately need your help! My baby is not even 1 yr. old and I'm pregnant again. I don't want kids so close together."
So the doctor said: 'Ok, and what do you want me to do?'
She said: 'I want you to end my pregnancy, and I'm counting on your help with this.'
The doctor thought for a little, and after some silence he said to the lady: "I think, I have a better solution for your problem. It's less dangerous for you too.'
She smiled, thinking that the doctor was going to accept her request.
Then he continued: 'You see, in order for you not to have to take care of 2 babies at the same time, let's kill the one in your arms.
This way, you could rest some before the other one is born. If we're going to kill one of them, it doesn't matter which one it is.
There would be no risk for your body if you chose the one in your arms.
The lady was horrified and said: 'No doctor! How terrible! It's a crime to kill a child!
'I agree', the doctor replied. 'But you seemed to be ok with it, so I thought maybe that was the best solution.
The doctor smiled, realizing that he had made his point. He convinced the mom that there is no difference in killing a child that's already been born and one that's still in the womb. The crime is the same!
So the doctor said: 'Ok, and what do you want me to do?'
She said: 'I want you to end my pregnancy, and I'm counting on your help with this.'
The doctor thought for a little, and after some silence he said to the lady: "I think, I have a better solution for your problem. It's less dangerous for you too.'
She smiled, thinking that the doctor was going to accept her request.
Then he continued: 'You see, in order for you not to have to take care of 2 babies at the same time, let's kill the one in your arms.
This way, you could rest some before the other one is born. If we're going to kill one of them, it doesn't matter which one it is.
There would be no risk for your body if you chose the one in your arms.
The lady was horrified and said: 'No doctor! How terrible! It's a crime to kill a child!
'I agree', the doctor replied. 'But you seemed to be ok with it, so I thought maybe that was the best solution.
The doctor smiled, realizing that he had made his point. He convinced the mom that there is no difference in killing a child that's already been born and one that's still in the womb. The crime is the same!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Nandan's brief of his first day in parliament! - VeryInteresting... really i say
Nandan Nilekani’s Experience as Head of UIAI!
From an INFOSCION to a Politician - Nandan's Chronicles –2
Continuing my tryst with capturing the life and times of Nandan Nilekani in his new avatar as a Cabinet Minister, here is what he had penned after his first day in the Parliament. The last entry stopped when the House was just about to begin. Let’s see what happened thereafter….
The House was in pin drop silence. I was brimming with anticipation and excitement!!!! Manmohan had informed me that my introduction was one of the important points of the agenda. I hoped that I will be able to make my speech properly. After so many interviews and conferences, I was nervous today!!!! After the Speaker indicated that the proceedings of the House could begin, Manmohan formally introduced me to the entire House. He mentioned that as the head of the Unique Identification Authority of India, I was responsible to ensure that each and every Indian had a digital smart card as a proof of his existence.
Manmohan spoke about why I was selected and also some references to the various projects executed by me in Infosys were mentioned. The House listened with rapt attention. I was asked to say a few words and I did exactly the same!!! I thanked the Government of India for having given me this opportunity and I assured the House that I would strive to successfully deliver this project. The Speaker then formally inducted me into the House and before the proceedings could move any forward, there was a small commotion on the other side of the hall.
It was Minister of Textiles who had a comment to make before the next point on the agenda. He made a request that I should be attired in a more austere way instead of a flashy suit. It did not go well with the image of a minister who should live to serve the common man and should be less ostentatious in his habits. I stood up to reply. I offered my apologies to the Honourable Minister and assured that I shall be in a more acceptable dress next time. I felt that he was right. We also used to have corporate dress code in Infosys. So it's here as well!!!!
I sat down and felt somebody nudging me. I turned around and to my surprise; it was the former Indian skipper and one of my favourite batsman Mohd. Azharuddin. I remembered that he had recently won the elections. I smiled at him and mentioned to him that I used to like his game very much, shaking his hand. No Rolex, I noticed. Azhar told me that he would “fix” me an appointment with an Italian designer who had designed his dapper Kurta suit. An Italian designer in Milan doing Kurtas!!!!! I made a note of this and reminded myself to give this example to Friedman for his next book,” The World Markets are flattened”.
Since there was no doubt about the “Fixational” capacities of Azhar, I told him to give me the details and I would consider. The proceedings of the House went on with numerous bills being debated and passed as I sat as a passive audience waiting for my project’s turn to come up. After the lunch break, it was the moment for me!!!!
MY PROJECT”S FIRST REVIEW CAME UP FOR PRESENTATION.
I was at sea. My laptop did not have any reserve power. I went to Manmohan and apprised him of the situation. I was sweating. He calmly replied that this would not be a cause of concern. I was flummoxed!!!! The Speaker asked me to explain to the House on what were my plans for the Unique Identity Project. I replied that I have a plan prepared for 30-60-90-120 days’ milestones and I have presentation to make for which I need a power socket, a projector and a screen. I had no idea what was going to happen after this.
The next couple of minutes were a complete jolt for me. I was completely in a tizzy. Let me just summarize what happened. A Joint Cabinet Secretary Committee was set up to judge the feasibility of my request. The Under Secretaries for the Ministries of Power, IT and Broadcasting will prepare a Viability Report after scrutinizing National Security threats to my request. This was because the power socket comes under Power, laptop comes under IT and projector comes under Broadcasting. I have also been told to reconsider my timelines of 30-60-90 days and start thinking in terms of years. Probably, they are right. I did not have the foresight in this matter.
The summary of the issue is that I need to come up with a more inclusive, democratic, comprehensive long term plan for this project to be executed over the next five years. I have also been given a presentation slot 3 months from now (by which the issues related to the power cord etc will also be resolved). I am filled with mixed reactions. I was planning for a quick resolution; the management wants a strategic solution. I come out of the House and text Murthy.
“You won’t believe it but these guys work just like us. I am on a NATIONAL BENCH for the next three months!!!!!!!!”
From an INFOSCION to a Politician - Nandan's Chronicles –2
Continuing my tryst with capturing the life and times of Nandan Nilekani in his new avatar as a Cabinet Minister, here is what he had penned after his first day in the Parliament. The last entry stopped when the House was just about to begin. Let’s see what happened thereafter….
The House was in pin drop silence. I was brimming with anticipation and excitement!!!! Manmohan had informed me that my introduction was one of the important points of the agenda. I hoped that I will be able to make my speech properly. After so many interviews and conferences, I was nervous today!!!! After the Speaker indicated that the proceedings of the House could begin, Manmohan formally introduced me to the entire House. He mentioned that as the head of the Unique Identification Authority of India, I was responsible to ensure that each and every Indian had a digital smart card as a proof of his existence.
Manmohan spoke about why I was selected and also some references to the various projects executed by me in Infosys were mentioned. The House listened with rapt attention. I was asked to say a few words and I did exactly the same!!! I thanked the Government of India for having given me this opportunity and I assured the House that I would strive to successfully deliver this project. The Speaker then formally inducted me into the House and before the proceedings could move any forward, there was a small commotion on the other side of the hall.
It was Minister of Textiles who had a comment to make before the next point on the agenda. He made a request that I should be attired in a more austere way instead of a flashy suit. It did not go well with the image of a minister who should live to serve the common man and should be less ostentatious in his habits. I stood up to reply. I offered my apologies to the Honourable Minister and assured that I shall be in a more acceptable dress next time. I felt that he was right. We also used to have corporate dress code in Infosys. So it's here as well!!!!
I sat down and felt somebody nudging me. I turned around and to my surprise; it was the former Indian skipper and one of my favourite batsman Mohd. Azharuddin. I remembered that he had recently won the elections. I smiled at him and mentioned to him that I used to like his game very much, shaking his hand. No Rolex, I noticed. Azhar told me that he would “fix” me an appointment with an Italian designer who had designed his dapper Kurta suit. An Italian designer in Milan doing Kurtas!!!!! I made a note of this and reminded myself to give this example to Friedman for his next book,” The World Markets are flattened”.
Since there was no doubt about the “Fixational” capacities of Azhar, I told him to give me the details and I would consider. The proceedings of the House went on with numerous bills being debated and passed as I sat as a passive audience waiting for my project’s turn to come up. After the lunch break, it was the moment for me!!!!
MY PROJECT”S FIRST REVIEW CAME UP FOR PRESENTATION.
I was at sea. My laptop did not have any reserve power. I went to Manmohan and apprised him of the situation. I was sweating. He calmly replied that this would not be a cause of concern. I was flummoxed!!!! The Speaker asked me to explain to the House on what were my plans for the Unique Identity Project. I replied that I have a plan prepared for 30-60-90-120 days’ milestones and I have presentation to make for which I need a power socket, a projector and a screen. I had no idea what was going to happen after this.
The next couple of minutes were a complete jolt for me. I was completely in a tizzy. Let me just summarize what happened. A Joint Cabinet Secretary Committee was set up to judge the feasibility of my request. The Under Secretaries for the Ministries of Power, IT and Broadcasting will prepare a Viability Report after scrutinizing National Security threats to my request. This was because the power socket comes under Power, laptop comes under IT and projector comes under Broadcasting. I have also been told to reconsider my timelines of 30-60-90 days and start thinking in terms of years. Probably, they are right. I did not have the foresight in this matter.
The summary of the issue is that I need to come up with a more inclusive, democratic, comprehensive long term plan for this project to be executed over the next five years. I have also been given a presentation slot 3 months from now (by which the issues related to the power cord etc will also be resolved). I am filled with mixed reactions. I was planning for a quick resolution; the management wants a strategic solution. I come out of the House and text Murthy.
“You won’t believe it but these guys work just like us. I am on a NATIONAL BENCH for the next three months!!!!!!!!”
Pain of a married man!!!!!..aaah
Just for FUN….
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.
She goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him.
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 18?" he asks solemnly. "Yes I do" she replies.
The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the garden?"
"Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued.. "Do you remember when he showed the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?"
"I remember that too" she replied softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "I would have been released today!"
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.
She goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him.
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 18?" he asks solemnly. "Yes I do" she replies.
The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the garden?"
"Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued.. "Do you remember when he showed the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?"
"I remember that too" she replied softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "I would have been released today!"
superb Song(Telugu) --- Emunnadakko ooo Emunnadakka....!
Emunnadakko ooo emunnadakkaaa...
Potta perigipoi..juttu ralipoi...vunna paruvu poi..
ee industry lo nakinka
emunnadi akko.. emunnadi akko emunnadi akka..
B.tech chesi naaka (saami)
Hyderabad cherukunnaa(saami)
Experience adugutunteeeee aa aaaa aaaav
Experience adugunte, enta kaavali ante anta petti, job kottina, join ayyina banchaaaaaaan
(Emunnadi akko..)
Training lu ivvaka paye (saami)
Client interaction annadu (saami)
Communication baledu ante a aaa aaaa
Communication baledu ante, kumili kumili edichina, hindu paper veyinchinaa banchaaaaaan
(Emunnadi akko..)
Project ichundu vaadu(saami)
Payslip kuda vachindi(saami)
Payslip chupinchiiii. a a a a a a aaaaaaaaaaaa
Payslip chupinchina, credit card teesukunna, avasaram lenivi anni konna appula palu ainaaa banchhaann...
(Emunnadi akko..)
Project aipoindiii(saami)
Kottadi vastadi annadu (saami)
Bench lo pettundu aaaaa a aa aaaaaaa
Bench lo pettinaaka subject marichipoina, o roju na HR pilusundu poi kalisina banchaann....
(Emunnadi akko..)
Boom taggindi annadu (saami)
Cost cutting annadu (saami)..
Benchlo vunna ani cheppiii aaaaaa a a a a aaaaa
Bench lo vunna ani cheppi bayatiki tosundu kompa kulchundu banchaaannn...
(Emunnadi akko..)
Potta perigipoi..juttu ralipoi...vunna paruvu poi..
ee industry lo nakinka
emunnadi akko.. emunnadi akko emunnadi akka..
B.tech chesi naaka (saami)
Hyderabad cherukunnaa(saami)
Experience adugutunteeeee aa aaaa aaaav
Experience adugunte, enta kaavali ante anta petti, job kottina, join ayyina banchaaaaaaan
(Emunnadi akko..)
Training lu ivvaka paye (saami)
Client interaction annadu (saami)
Communication baledu ante a aaa aaaa
Communication baledu ante, kumili kumili edichina, hindu paper veyinchinaa banchaaaaaan
(Emunnadi akko..)
Project ichundu vaadu(saami)
Payslip kuda vachindi(saami)
Payslip chupinchiiii. a a a a a a aaaaaaaaaaaa
Payslip chupinchina, credit card teesukunna, avasaram lenivi anni konna appula palu ainaaa banchhaann...
(Emunnadi akko..)
Project aipoindiii(saami)
Kottadi vastadi annadu (saami)
Bench lo pettundu aaaaa a aa aaaaaaa
Bench lo pettinaaka subject marichipoina, o roju na HR pilusundu poi kalisina banchaann....
(Emunnadi akko..)
Boom taggindi annadu (saami)
Cost cutting annadu (saami)..
Benchlo vunna ani cheppiii aaaaaa a a a a aaaaa
Bench lo vunna ani cheppi bayatiki tosundu kompa kulchundu banchaaannn...
(Emunnadi akko..)
MINDBLOWING: Dialogues in English mind it.....
1) U can study and get any certificates. But u cannot get ur death certificate.
2) U may have AIRTEL or BSNL connection but when u sneeze u ll say HUTCH.
3) U can bcome an engineer if u study in engineering college. U cannot bcom a president if u studies in Presidency College.
4) U can expect a BUS from a BUS stop .... u cannot expect a FULL from FULL stop.
5) A mechanical engineer can bcom a mechanic but a software engineer cannot bcom a software.
6)U can find tea in teacup. But cannot find world in world cup.
7) U can find keys in Keyboard but u cannot find mother in motherboard..
2) U may have AIRTEL or BSNL connection but when u sneeze u ll say HUTCH.
3) U can bcome an engineer if u study in engineering college. U cannot bcom a president if u studies in Presidency College.
4) U can expect a BUS from a BUS stop .... u cannot expect a FULL from FULL stop.
5) A mechanical engineer can bcom a mechanic but a software engineer cannot bcom a software.
6)U can find tea in teacup. But cannot find world in world cup.
7) U can find keys in Keyboard but u cannot find mother in motherboard..
One solution for every situation..superb..very very nice
Great Message
Once a king called upon all of his wise men and asked them "Is there a mantra or suggestion which works in every situation, in every circumstance, in every place and in every time. Something which can help me when none of you is available to advise me. Tell me is there any mantra?"
All wise men got puzzled by King's question.
One answer for all questions? Something that works everywhere, in every situation, in every joy, every sorrow, every defeat and every victory?
They thought and thought.
After a lengthy discussion, an old man suggested something which appealed to all of them. They went to the king and gave him something written on paper. But the condition was that king was not to see it out of curiosity. Only in extreme danger, when the King finds himself alone and there seems to be no way, only then he'll have to see it.
The King put the papers under his Diamond ring.
After a few days, the neighbors attacked the Kingdom. It was a collective surprise attack of the King's enemies.
King and his army fought bravely but lost the battle. King had to fled on his horse. The enemies were following him.
His horse took him far away in the Jungle. He could hear many troops of horses following him and the noise was coming closer and closer.
Suddenly the King found himself standing at the end of the road – that road was not going anywhere. Underneath there was a rocky valley thousand feet deep. If he jumped into it, he would be finished and he could not return because it was a small road.
The sound of enemy's horses was approaching fast. King became restless. There seemed to be no way.
Then suddenly he saw the Diamond in his ring shining in the sun, and he remembered the message hidden in the ring.
He opened the diamond and read the message. The message was very small but very great.
The message was - "Even this shall pass away."
The King read it. Again read it. Suddenly something struck him- Yes! It too will pass. Only a few days ago, I was enjoying my kingdom. I was the mightiest of all the Kings. Yet today, the Kingdom and all his pleasure have gone.
I am here trying to escape from enemies.
However when those days of luxuries have gone, this day of danger too will pass. Calm come on his face. He kept standing there.
The place where he was standing was full of natural beauty. He had never known that such a beautiful place was also a part of his Kingdom. The revelation of the message had a great effect on him. He relaxed and forgot about those following him. After a few minutes he realized that the noise of the horses and the enemy coming was receding. They moved into some other part of the mountains and were not on that path.
The King was very brave. He reorganized his army and fought again. He defeated the enemy and regained his lost empire. When he returned to his empire after victory, he was received with much fan fare at the door. The whole capital was rejoicing in the victory. Everyone was in a festive mood.
Flowers were being thrown on the King from every house, from every corner. People were dancing and singing. For a moment King said to himself," I am one of the bravest and greatest King. It is not easy to defeat me".
With all the reception and celebration he saw an ego emerging in him.
Suddenly the Diamond of his ring flashed in the sunlight and reminded him of the message. He open it and read it again:
"Even this shall pass away."
He became silent. His face went through a total change - from the egoist he moved to a state of utter humbleness.
If this too is going to pass, it is not yours. The defeat was not yours, the victory is not yours. You are just a watcher. Everything passes by we are witness of all this. We are the perceiver.
Life comes and goes.
Happiness comes and goes. Sorrow comes and goes.
Now as you have read this story, just sit silently and evaluate your own life. Think of the moments of joy and victory in your life. Think of the moment of Sorrow and defeat. Are they permanent? They all come and pass away. Life just passes away.
There were friends in the past. They have gone.
There are friends today. They too will go.
There will be new friends tomorrow. They too will go.
There were enemies in the past. They have gone.
There may be enemies in the present. They too will go.
There will be new enemies tomorrow and they too will go.
There is nothing permanent in this world. Everything changes except the law of change. Think over it from your own perspective. You have seen all the changes. You have survived all setbacks, all defeats and all sorrows.
All have passed away. If there are problems in the present, they too will pass away. Because nothing remains forever.
Who are you in reality? Know your real face. Your face is not your true face. It will change with the time. However, there is something in you, which will not change. It will remain unchanged. What is that unchangeable?
It is nothing but your true self. You are just a witness of change.
Experience it, understand it.
Once a king called upon all of his wise men and asked them "Is there a mantra or suggestion which works in every situation, in every circumstance, in every place and in every time. Something which can help me when none of you is available to advise me. Tell me is there any mantra?"
All wise men got puzzled by King's question.
One answer for all questions? Something that works everywhere, in every situation, in every joy, every sorrow, every defeat and every victory?
They thought and thought.
After a lengthy discussion, an old man suggested something which appealed to all of them. They went to the king and gave him something written on paper. But the condition was that king was not to see it out of curiosity. Only in extreme danger, when the King finds himself alone and there seems to be no way, only then he'll have to see it.
The King put the papers under his Diamond ring.
After a few days, the neighbors attacked the Kingdom. It was a collective surprise attack of the King's enemies.
King and his army fought bravely but lost the battle. King had to fled on his horse. The enemies were following him.
His horse took him far away in the Jungle. He could hear many troops of horses following him and the noise was coming closer and closer.
Suddenly the King found himself standing at the end of the road – that road was not going anywhere. Underneath there was a rocky valley thousand feet deep. If he jumped into it, he would be finished and he could not return because it was a small road.
The sound of enemy's horses was approaching fast. King became restless. There seemed to be no way.
Then suddenly he saw the Diamond in his ring shining in the sun, and he remembered the message hidden in the ring.
He opened the diamond and read the message. The message was very small but very great.
The message was - "Even this shall pass away."
The King read it. Again read it. Suddenly something struck him- Yes! It too will pass. Only a few days ago, I was enjoying my kingdom. I was the mightiest of all the Kings. Yet today, the Kingdom and all his pleasure have gone.
I am here trying to escape from enemies.
However when those days of luxuries have gone, this day of danger too will pass. Calm come on his face. He kept standing there.
The place where he was standing was full of natural beauty. He had never known that such a beautiful place was also a part of his Kingdom. The revelation of the message had a great effect on him. He relaxed and forgot about those following him. After a few minutes he realized that the noise of the horses and the enemy coming was receding. They moved into some other part of the mountains and were not on that path.
The King was very brave. He reorganized his army and fought again. He defeated the enemy and regained his lost empire. When he returned to his empire after victory, he was received with much fan fare at the door. The whole capital was rejoicing in the victory. Everyone was in a festive mood.
Flowers were being thrown on the King from every house, from every corner. People were dancing and singing. For a moment King said to himself," I am one of the bravest and greatest King. It is not easy to defeat me".
With all the reception and celebration he saw an ego emerging in him.
Suddenly the Diamond of his ring flashed in the sunlight and reminded him of the message. He open it and read it again:
"Even this shall pass away."
He became silent. His face went through a total change - from the egoist he moved to a state of utter humbleness.
If this too is going to pass, it is not yours. The defeat was not yours, the victory is not yours. You are just a watcher. Everything passes by we are witness of all this. We are the perceiver.
Life comes and goes.
Happiness comes and goes. Sorrow comes and goes.
Now as you have read this story, just sit silently and evaluate your own life. Think of the moments of joy and victory in your life. Think of the moment of Sorrow and defeat. Are they permanent? They all come and pass away. Life just passes away.
There were friends in the past. They have gone.
There are friends today. They too will go.
There will be new friends tomorrow. They too will go.
There were enemies in the past. They have gone.
There may be enemies in the present. They too will go.
There will be new enemies tomorrow and they too will go.
There is nothing permanent in this world. Everything changes except the law of change. Think over it from your own perspective. You have seen all the changes. You have survived all setbacks, all defeats and all sorrows.
All have passed away. If there are problems in the present, they too will pass away. Because nothing remains forever.
Who are you in reality? Know your real face. Your face is not your true face. It will change with the time. However, there is something in you, which will not change. It will remain unchanged. What is that unchangeable?
It is nothing but your true self. You are just a witness of change.
Experience it, understand it.
diff between boy and girl..funny
How a BOY withdraws cash from an ATM.
1. Park the car
2. Go to ATM Machine
3. Insert card
4. Enter PIN
5. Take money out
6. Take ATM Card out
7. Drive away
How a GIRL withdraws cash from an ATM
1. Park the car
2. Check makeup
3. Turn off engine
4. Check makeup
5. Go to ATM
6. Hunt for ATM card in the purse
7. Insert card
8. Hit Cancel
9. Hunt in purse for chit with PIN written on it
10. Insert card
11. Enter PIN
12. Take cash
13. Go to car
14. Check makeup
15. Start car
16. Stop car
17. Run back to ATM
18. Take ATM card
19. Back to car
20. Check makeup
21. Start car
22. Check makeup
23. Drive for 1/2 mile
24. Release handbrake
1. Park the car
2. Go to ATM Machine
3. Insert card
4. Enter PIN
5. Take money out
6. Take ATM Card out
7. Drive away
How a GIRL withdraws cash from an ATM
1. Park the car
2. Check makeup
3. Turn off engine
4. Check makeup
5. Go to ATM
6. Hunt for ATM card in the purse
7. Insert card
8. Hit Cancel
9. Hunt in purse for chit with PIN written on it
10. Insert card
11. Enter PIN
12. Take cash
13. Go to car
14. Check makeup
15. Start car
16. Stop car
17. Run back to ATM
18. Take ATM card
19. Back to car
20. Check makeup
21. Start car
22. Check makeup
23. Drive for 1/2 mile
24. Release handbrake
PERFECT BOSS-....
There were about 70 scientists working on a very hectic project. All of
them
were really frustrated due to the pressure of work and the demands of their
boss but everyone was loyal to him and did not think of quitting the job.
One day, one scientist came to his boss and told him - Sir, I have promised
to my children that I will take them to the exhibition going on in our
township. So I want to leave the office at 5 30 pm.
His boss replied "OK, You're permitted to leave the office early today"
The Scientist started working. He continued his work after lunch. As usual
he got involved to such an extent that he looked at his watch when he felt
he was close to completion.The time was 8.30 PM. Suddenly he remembered
of
the promise he had given to his children.
He looked for his boss,,He was not there. Having told him in the morning
itself, he closed everything and left for home.
Deep within himself, he was feeling guilty for having disappointed his
children.He reached home. Children were not there.His wife alone was
sitting
in the hall and reading magazines.
The situation was explosive, any talk would boomerang on him. His wife
asked
him "Would you like to have coffee or shall I straight away serve dinner
if
you are hungry.
The man replied "If you would like to have coffee, i too will have but what
about Children ??"
Wife replied "You don't know ?? Your manager came here at 5.15 PM and has
taken the children to the exhibition "
What had really happened was ... The boss who granted him permission was
observing him working seriously at 5.00 PM. He thought to himself, this
person will not leave the work, but if he has promised his children they
should enjoy the visit to exhibition.
So he took the lead in taking them to exhibition
The boss does not have to do it everytime. But once it is done, loyalty is
established.
That is why all the scientists at Thumba continued to work under their boss
eventhough the stress was tremendous.
By the way , can you hazard a guess as to who the boss was..?
He was none other than Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam,
them
were really frustrated due to the pressure of work and the demands of their
boss but everyone was loyal to him and did not think of quitting the job.
One day, one scientist came to his boss and told him - Sir, I have promised
to my children that I will take them to the exhibition going on in our
township. So I want to leave the office at 5 30 pm.
His boss replied "OK, You're permitted to leave the office early today"
The Scientist started working. He continued his work after lunch. As usual
he got involved to such an extent that he looked at his watch when he felt
he was close to completion.The time was 8.30 PM. Suddenly he remembered
of
the promise he had given to his children.
He looked for his boss,,He was not there. Having told him in the morning
itself, he closed everything and left for home.
Deep within himself, he was feeling guilty for having disappointed his
children.He reached home. Children were not there.His wife alone was
sitting
in the hall and reading magazines.
The situation was explosive, any talk would boomerang on him. His wife
asked
him "Would you like to have coffee or shall I straight away serve dinner
if
you are hungry.
The man replied "If you would like to have coffee, i too will have but what
about Children ??"
Wife replied "You don't know ?? Your manager came here at 5.15 PM and has
taken the children to the exhibition "
What had really happened was ... The boss who granted him permission was
observing him working seriously at 5.00 PM. He thought to himself, this
person will not leave the work, but if he has promised his children they
should enjoy the visit to exhibition.
So he took the lead in taking them to exhibition
The boss does not have to do it everytime. But once it is done, loyalty is
established.
That is why all the scientists at Thumba continued to work under their boss
eventhough the stress was tremendous.
By the way , can you hazard a guess as to who the boss was..?
He was none other than Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam,
Monday, October 26, 2009
Sense of Humor 4 de day! AXE effect........
New Delhi. In what could prove to be a major marketing and legal embarrassment for Hindustan Unilever Limited (HUL), a 26-year-old man has filed a case against the FMCG company, which owns the Axe brand of men grooming products, for ‘cheating’ and causing him ‘mental suffering’. The plaintiff has cited his failure to attract any girl at all even though he’s been using Axe products for over seven years now. Axe advertisements suggest that the products help men in instantly attracting women.
Vaibhav Bedi, the petitioner, also surrendered all his used, unused and half-used deodorant sprays, perfume sticks and roll-ons, anti-perspirants, aftershaves, body washes, shampoos, and hair gels to the court, and demanded a laboratory test of the products and narcotics test of the brand managers of Axe. Vaibhav was pushed to take this step when his bai (maid) beat him with a broom when he tried to impress her in front of her after applying all the Axe products.
Unable to attract even a single girl, frustrated man sues Axe
No girl ever asked Vaibhav to call her
“Where is the Axe effect? I’ve been waiting for it for over seven years. Right from my college to now in my office, no girl ever agreed to even go out for a tea or coffee with me, even though I’m sure they could smell my perfumes, deodorants and aftershaves. I always applied them in abundance to make sure the girls get turned on as they show in the television. Finally I thought I’d try to impress my lonely bai who had an ugly fight with her husband and was living alone for over a year. Axe effect my foot!” Vaibhav expressed his unhappiness.
Vaibhav claims that he had been using all the Axe products as per the company’s instructions even since he first bought them. He argued that if he couldn’t experience the Axe effect despite using the products as directed, either the company was making false claims or selling fake products.
“I had always stored them in cool and dry place, and kept them away from direct light or heat. I’d always use a ruler before applying the spray and make sure that the distance between the nozzle and my armpit was at least 15 centimeters. I’d do everything they told. I even beat up my 5-year-old nephew for coming near my closet, as they had instructed it to keep away from children’s reach. And yet, all I get is a broom beating from my ugly bai.” Vaibhav expressed his frustration.
Vaibhav claims that he had to do go a lot of mental suffering and public humiliation due to the lack of Axe effect and wants HUL to compensate him for this agony. An advocate in Karkardooma court, who happened to mistake Vaibhav for some deodorant vendor when he entered the court premises with all the bottles, has now offered to take up his case in the court. HUL has been served a legal notice in this regard.
HUL has officially declined to comment on the case citing the subject to be sub judice, but our sources inform that the company was worried over the possible outcomes of the case. The company might argue that Vaibhav was hopelessly unattractive and unintelligent and didn’t possess the bare minimum requirements for the Axe effect to take place. Officially HUL has not issued any statement, but legal experts believe that HUL could have tough time convincing the court.
“HUL might be tempted to take that line of argument, but it is very risky. There is no data to substantiate the supposition that unattractive and unintelligent men don’t attract women. In fact some of the best looking women have been known to marry and date absolutely ghoulish guys. I’d suggest that the company settles this issue out of court.” noted lawyer Ram Jhoothmalani said.
Vaibhav Bedi, the petitioner, also surrendered all his used, unused and half-used deodorant sprays, perfume sticks and roll-ons, anti-perspirants, aftershaves, body washes, shampoos, and hair gels to the court, and demanded a laboratory test of the products and narcotics test of the brand managers of Axe. Vaibhav was pushed to take this step when his bai (maid) beat him with a broom when he tried to impress her in front of her after applying all the Axe products.
Unable to attract even a single girl, frustrated man sues Axe
No girl ever asked Vaibhav to call her
“Where is the Axe effect? I’ve been waiting for it for over seven years. Right from my college to now in my office, no girl ever agreed to even go out for a tea or coffee with me, even though I’m sure they could smell my perfumes, deodorants and aftershaves. I always applied them in abundance to make sure the girls get turned on as they show in the television. Finally I thought I’d try to impress my lonely bai who had an ugly fight with her husband and was living alone for over a year. Axe effect my foot!” Vaibhav expressed his unhappiness.
Vaibhav claims that he had been using all the Axe products as per the company’s instructions even since he first bought them. He argued that if he couldn’t experience the Axe effect despite using the products as directed, either the company was making false claims or selling fake products.
“I had always stored them in cool and dry place, and kept them away from direct light or heat. I’d always use a ruler before applying the spray and make sure that the distance between the nozzle and my armpit was at least 15 centimeters. I’d do everything they told. I even beat up my 5-year-old nephew for coming near my closet, as they had instructed it to keep away from children’s reach. And yet, all I get is a broom beating from my ugly bai.” Vaibhav expressed his frustration.
Vaibhav claims that he had to do go a lot of mental suffering and public humiliation due to the lack of Axe effect and wants HUL to compensate him for this agony. An advocate in Karkardooma court, who happened to mistake Vaibhav for some deodorant vendor when he entered the court premises with all the bottles, has now offered to take up his case in the court. HUL has been served a legal notice in this regard.
HUL has officially declined to comment on the case citing the subject to be sub judice, but our sources inform that the company was worried over the possible outcomes of the case. The company might argue that Vaibhav was hopelessly unattractive and unintelligent and didn’t possess the bare minimum requirements for the Axe effect to take place. Officially HUL has not issued any statement, but legal experts believe that HUL could have tough time convincing the court.
“HUL might be tempted to take that line of argument, but it is very risky. There is no data to substantiate the supposition that unattractive and unintelligent men don’t attract women. In fact some of the best looking women have been known to marry and date absolutely ghoulish guys. I’d suggest that the company settles this issue out of court.” noted lawyer Ram Jhoothmalani said.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Must read story....
Sanjay, a rich guy, loved fast cars and he did have a few in his possession.
He loved to speed and could not be bothered about breaking speedlimits. Many a times he was
caught by the cops and speed radars, fined, but still he never bothered until.
One day as he was driving at a very high speed as usual, he saw a cop following him. The cop overtook him finally and asked him to stop
and checked his license. He then took out his pad and started writing, and then handed over the sheet of paper to Sanjay.
How much was this one going to cost?!!!
Wait a minute.
What was this????
Some kind of joke? Certainly not a ticket.
Sanjay began to read:
"Dear Sanjay,
Once upon a time I had a lovely daughter. She was six when killed by a car.
You guessed it - a speeding driver's car.A fine and three months in jail, and the man was free. Free to hug his three daughters.
I only had one, and I'm going to have to wait until Heaven, before I can ever hug her again.
A thousand times I've tried to forgive that man. A thousand times I thought I had. Maybe I did, but I need to do it
again. Even now. Pray for me.. And be careful, Sanjay, my son is all I have left."
Sanjay turned around in time to see the cop's car pull away and head down the road.
He watched until it disappeared. A full 15 minutes later, he too, pulled away and drove slowly home, praying for forgiveness and
hugging a surprised wife and kids when he arrived.
Life is precious. Handle it with care.
Funny how you can send a thousand jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the
sanctity of life, people think twice about sharing. Funny, how when you go to forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you, for sending it to them.Pass this on, you may save a life. Then maybe not, but we'll never know for sure.
He loved to speed and could not be bothered about breaking speedlimits. Many a times he was
caught by the cops and speed radars, fined, but still he never bothered until.
One day as he was driving at a very high speed as usual, he saw a cop following him. The cop overtook him finally and asked him to stop
and checked his license. He then took out his pad and started writing, and then handed over the sheet of paper to Sanjay.
How much was this one going to cost?!!!
Wait a minute.
What was this????
Some kind of joke? Certainly not a ticket.
Sanjay began to read:
"Dear Sanjay,
Once upon a time I had a lovely daughter. She was six when killed by a car.
You guessed it - a speeding driver's car.A fine and three months in jail, and the man was free. Free to hug his three daughters.
I only had one, and I'm going to have to wait until Heaven, before I can ever hug her again.
A thousand times I've tried to forgive that man. A thousand times I thought I had. Maybe I did, but I need to do it
again. Even now. Pray for me.. And be careful, Sanjay, my son is all I have left."
Sanjay turned around in time to see the cop's car pull away and head down the road.
He watched until it disappeared. A full 15 minutes later, he too, pulled away and drove slowly home, praying for forgiveness and
hugging a surprised wife and kids when he arrived.
Life is precious. Handle it with care.
Funny how you can send a thousand jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the
sanctity of life, people think twice about sharing. Funny, how when you go to forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you, for sending it to them.Pass this on, you may save a life. Then maybe not, but we'll never know for sure.
17 signs of falling in love
SEVENTEEN:
U LOOK AT THEIR PROFILE/PICTURE CONSTANTLY
SIXTEEN:
WHEN YOUR ON THE PHONE WITH THEM LATE AT NIGHT AND THEY HANG UP, YOU
STILL MISS THEM EVEN WHEN IT WAS JUST TWO MINUTES AGO.
FIFTEEN:
YOU READ THEIR TEXTS or IMS OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
FOURTEEN:
YOU WALK REALLY SLOW WHEN YOU'RE WITH THEM
THIRTEEN:
YOU FEEL SHY WHENEVER YOU'RE/THEY'RE AROUND.
ELEVEN:
WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THEM, YOUR HEART BEATS FASTER AND SLOWER AT THE
SAME TIME
TEN:
YOU SMILE WHEN YOU HEAR THEIR VOICE.
NINE:
WHEN YOU lOOK AT THEM, YOU CAN'T SEE THE OTHER PEOPLE AROUND YOU, All
YOU SEE IS HIM//HER.
EIGHT:
YOU START LISTENING TO SLOW SONGS, WHILE THINKING OF THEM
SEVEN:
THEY'RE ALL YOU THINK ABOUT.
SIX:
YOU GET HIGH JUST FROM THEIR SCENT.
FIVE:
YOU REALlIZE THAT YOU'RE AlWAYS SMILING TO YOURSELF WHEN YOU THINK
ABOUT THEM.
FOUR:
YOU WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THEM, OR ANYTHING TO SEE THEM.
THREE:
WHILE READING THIS, THERE WAS ONE PERSON ON YOUR MIND THE WHOLE TIME...
TWO:
YOU WERE SO BUSY THINKING ABOUT THAT PERSON, YOU DIDN'T NOTICE NUMBER
TWELVE.
ONE:
YOU JUST SCROLLED UP TO CHECK & ARE NOW SILENTLY LAUGHING AT YOURSELF.
NOW MAKE A WiSH. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.......
*
**
***
**... **
*****
******
... *******
********... *********
*****... ***
*******
****... **
*****
****
... ***
**
*
*
... **
***
****
... *****
******
**... *****
********
*... ********
********
... *******
******
... *****
****
***
... **
*
**
**... *
****
*****
... ******
*******
*... *******
*********
... ********
*******
... ******
*****
... ****
***
IF YOU DIDN'T NOTICE NUMBER 12, POST THIS AS: "17 signs of falling in
LOVE."
*AND SOMETHING GOOD WILL HAPPEN TO YOU TONIGHT
An Official Meeting..Awesome..........
An Official Meeting
----------------------------
It was a hot meeting at the office conference hall. All the people
from the department had been called. The VP was looking very tensed.
The mood was so bad. My friend asked me -"Hey , what is this meeting
about? I told - May be they will decide on when to have the next
meeting.
We both smiled at each other.
Then the VP started talking. It was about the recent attrition rate that was so high. Around 10 people
had put in their papers. All experienced guys. It was quarter end and so work was huge.
If we do not complete the work on time, we need to be paying heavy penalty said the VP.
The VP turned to the manager and told "Hey - take how much ever resources you want. Recruit or take them from other departments.
But complete the work in another 25 days.Take people and complete it man.
And my sweet manager replied "VP-Give me one wife and nine months and I shall show you results. Don't
give me nine wife's and one month. I cannot do anything."
We all looked at him blank. The VP was not prepared for this answer. I looked
at my manager and thought "what an awesome reply man!"
----------------------------
It was a hot meeting at the office conference hall. All the people
from the department had been called. The VP was looking very tensed.
The mood was so bad. My friend asked me -"Hey , what is this meeting
about? I told - May be they will decide on when to have the next
meeting.
We both smiled at each other.
Then the VP started talking. It was about the recent attrition rate that was so high. Around 10 people
had put in their papers. All experienced guys. It was quarter end and so work was huge.
If we do not complete the work on time, we need to be paying heavy penalty said the VP.
The VP turned to the manager and told "Hey - take how much ever resources you want. Recruit or take them from other departments.
But complete the work in another 25 days.Take people and complete it man.
And my sweet manager replied "VP-Give me one wife and nine months and I shall show you results. Don't
give me nine wife's and one month. I cannot do anything."
We all looked at him blank. The VP was not prepared for this answer. I looked
at my manager and thought "what an awesome reply man!"
Worldwide survey
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:
"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a huge failure, In Africa they didn't know what 'food'
meant, In India they didn't know what 'honest' meant, In Europe they
didn't know what 'shortage' meant, In China they didn't know what
'opinion' meant,In the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution'
meant, In South America they didn't know what 'please' meant, And
in the USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant.
"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a huge failure, In Africa they didn't know what 'food'
meant, In India they didn't know what 'honest' meant, In Europe they
didn't know what 'shortage' meant, In China they didn't know what
'opinion' meant,In the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution'
meant, In South America they didn't know what 'please' meant, And
in the USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant.
Flag this message Life after death....
BOSS said to an employee: "Do you believe in life after Death?
EMPLOYEE: "Certainly not! There ' s no proof of it", he replied.
BOSS : "Well, there is now. After you left early yesterday to go to your uncle ' s funeral, he came here looking for you...
EMPLOYEE: "Certainly not! There ' s no proof of it", he replied.
BOSS : "Well, there is now. After you left early yesterday to go to your uncle ' s funeral, he came here looking for you...
Hillarious
One morning at a doctor’s surgery a patient arrives complaining of
serious back-pain. The doctor examines him and asks him" OK, what
happened to your back?"
The patient replies "You know that I work for a local night club? This
morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my
bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the
balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door and did not find
anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and he
was dressing himself. I grabbed the fridge and threw it at him, That’s how I strained my back"
The 2nd patient arrives looking as if he has been in a car wreck. The
doctor said "My previous patient looked bad, but you look terrible. What
the hell happened to you?"
He replied, "You know I have been unemployed for a while now .Today was
the first day at my new job. I forgot to set my alarm and was running
late. I was running out of the building, getting dressed at the same
time, and you won't believe it but I was hit by a fridge."
The 3rd patient arrives; he looks even worse than the other two
Patients do. The doctor is shocked. Again asks, "What the hell happened
to youuuuuu.....?"
"Well I was sitting in a fridge & someone threw it from the 3rd floor"
serious back-pain. The doctor examines him and asks him" OK, what
happened to your back?"
The patient replies "You know that I work for a local night club? This
morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my
bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the
balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door and did not find
anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and he
was dressing himself. I grabbed the fridge and threw it at him, That’s how I strained my back"
The 2nd patient arrives looking as if he has been in a car wreck. The
doctor said "My previous patient looked bad, but you look terrible. What
the hell happened to you?"
He replied, "You know I have been unemployed for a while now .Today was
the first day at my new job. I forgot to set my alarm and was running
late. I was running out of the building, getting dressed at the same
time, and you won't believe it but I was hit by a fridge."
The 3rd patient arrives; he looks even worse than the other two
Patients do. The doctor is shocked. Again asks, "What the hell happened
to youuuuuu.....?"
"Well I was sitting in a fridge & someone threw it from the 3rd floor"
Flag this message If u r Planning to Switch.....think twice
Male to Female Ratio Among IT Professionals
Issued in Public Interest
Male to Female Ratio Among IT Professionals
Company M/F Ratio
Rolta 24:1
Mascon Global 19:1
HCL Infosystems 12:1
Adobe 11:1
EDS 500: 1
Digital Globalsoft 7:1
HCL Technologies 6:1
Sun Microsystems 6:1
HP 5:1
Capgemini 5:1
Infosys 5:1
Kshema Technologies 4:1
Wipro 4:1
TCS 4:1
SAP 4:1
Hughes Software Systems 4:1
iFlex 4:1
Philips 3:1
Cognizant Technology 3:1
NIIT 2:1
THOMSON FINANCIALS 1:3
Guys look out for THOMSON.............
And Gals please help EDS.... aaaaaaahhhhhhahahahhah
Issued in Public Interest
Male to Female Ratio Among IT Professionals
Company M/F Ratio
Rolta 24:1
Mascon Global 19:1
HCL Infosystems 12:1
Adobe 11:1
EDS 500: 1
Digital Globalsoft 7:1
HCL Technologies 6:1
Sun Microsystems 6:1
HP 5:1
Capgemini 5:1
Infosys 5:1
Kshema Technologies 4:1
Wipro 4:1
TCS 4:1
SAP 4:1
Hughes Software Systems 4:1
iFlex 4:1
Philips 3:1
Cognizant Technology 3:1
NIIT 2:1
THOMSON FINANCIALS 1:3
Guys look out for THOMSON.............
And Gals please help EDS.... aaaaaaahhhhhhahahahhah
Friday, October 16, 2009
Please do not laugh!
In U.S. they invented a machine that catches thieves; they took it out
to different countries for a test.
In U.S.A, in 30 minutes, it caught 20 thieves;
In UK , in 30 minutes it
caught 50 thieves;
Spain , in 30 minutes it caught 65 thieves;
Ghana ,
in 30 minutes it caught 600 thieves;
India , in 15 minutes
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
the machine was stolen.
I thought I told you not to laugh????????
won't you!!
Flag this message Six Truths Of Life
6 Truths of Life
1. You cannot touch all your top teeth with your tongue.
2. All idiots, after reading the first truth, will try it.
3. And discover that The first truth is a lie.
4. You're smiling now because you're an idiot.
5. You soon will tell this to another idiot.
6. There's still a stupid smile on your face.
I apologize about this
I'm an idiot and I needed company ..
TV9 Funny Spoof !!
Funny Spoof !!
Veedi channel lo news ki chinna example (fiction)
manam road meeda velthu untaam. Oka kukka pilla kaalu virigi kuntunthundi. manaki time unte aagi daaniki emi kaavalo chsutham, ledu ante ayyo paapam ani jaali padi vellipothaam.
TV9 reporter velthunnadu, ventane Tv9 office ki oka phone velthundi, vaadu cameraman ni pamputhadu.
Ika modalu........
krishna aa kukka paristhithi ela undi? eppati nunchi akkada undi?
ee kukka morning nunchi ikkade undi, ippudu kuntunthundi......swapna
Akkadi vallu emanna chebuthunnara?... Krishna
Swapna...ikkadi vaallu idi oka kukka ani, daani kaaluku debba thagalatam valla kuntuthundi ani chepthunnaru. ee vidham ga gatham lo aa kukka ee area lo ila kuntaledani, ide thaamu modati saari choodatam ani chepthunnaru
Kuntuthunna Kukka Spandana ela undi? .....krishna
Kukka prasthutham kuntuthundi swapna. Ee vidham ga kaalu ku debba thagalatam kotha anukunta, anduke kuntatam raaka ibbandi paduthundi. Maatlaadinchataniki prayathnichina adi samaadhanam cheppakunda, mooluguthundi.....swapna
Thank you Krishna , eppatikappudu thaaja paristhithi sameekshisthu undtaaniki meeku call chesthu untam.
Idi gaayapadi kuntthunna kukka sthithi meeda maa crime prathinidhi
Krishna andinchina vivaraalu. Ippudu oka chinna break..break tarvatha Kukkalu-Kuntudu amsam pai charchintaniki pramukha doctor Kukkuteswara Rao gaaru mana studio ki vasthunanru.
Break Tarvatha..........
RajniKanth : Cheppandi Kukkuteswara Rao gaaru gatham lo meeru eppudaina ila Kukkalu kunttam chusara? oka vela chusthe aa jaathi kukkalu kuntam chusi untaaru.
Kukkuteswar : Ee vidham ga kukkalu kuntatam idi modati saari kaadu. Prapanchavyaaptham ga enno jaathula kukkalu, enno sandarbhallo ila kuntinattu manaku aadhaaraalu unnai. Kuntataniki jaathi tho sambandam ledu.
RajniKanth : Ante Kukkalu kunteppudu vaatiki emanna badha untunda? Unte etuvanti badha?
Kukkuteswar : Badha lo rakaalu undavandi. Kunteppudu general ga debba thagilna kaalu ki noppi untundi ani Dog's Medical Science lo gatti aadharaalu unnai.
RajniKanth : Thaaja paristhi cheppenduku maa crime prathinidhi
Krishna telephone lo sidham ga unanru...Krishan Cheppandi..aa Kukka Paristhithi ela undi
Krishna : (chevilo ear piece pettukuni bithara chupulu chusthu untaadu)
Krishna Cheppandi..aa Kukka Paristhithi ela undi?
Rajni kukka mooluguthundi, ippude blue cross vallu daanini teesuku vellaru.
Kukka kaalu ki debba thagilindi, daani ithara sareera bhaagalu ela unnai?...krishna
Rajni, Kukka kaalu ki maathrma debba thagilindi. Kaani ee Kukka thoka vankara ga undi.
Vankara ante ela undi...krishna (ippudu Rajni moham lo expression inkekkada chudalemu, stahruvu tanker ni dwamsam cheyyataniki wait chetshunna soldier face lo thappa)
Rajni Vankara ga antecuttukuni undi, nenu appatiki daanini straight cheyyataniki try chetshunnau kaani adi chuttukupothundi. bahusa kaalu ki debba thagalatam valla ani naa uddesam.
Thank you krishna....Kukkuteswar gaaru, kaalu ki debba thagalatam valla thoka vankara ayyi untundi ani maa prathinidhi Kirshna chepthunanru, deeni pai mee spandana enti?
Spandana ante emi untundi ra poondakor vedhava...kukka thoka kaalu ki debba thagalatam valla vankara ayyedi enti ra dhed dimgaa ga. emi manishivi ra nuvvu, ippati varaku nuvvu raasi ichina answers chadivanu, inka naa valla kaadu, naa tea marigipothu untaayi. bangaram laanti Mallayya ane
peru maarchi kukkuteswar rao ani maarchi, shirt pant rent ki techi naaku ichi doctor laaga act cheyyala? ala act chetshe naa tea kottu nunchi eduru ga
unna mee TV9 office ki roju 100 tea order isthara. manassakshi undantra edava
(ila thiduthu undgaane, TV9 logo vachi, merugaina samaajama kosam chusthune undandi TV9 ani vocie vinipinchi ads raavatam modalu ayyindi)
Veedi channel lo news ki chinna example (fiction)
manam road meeda velthu untaam. Oka kukka pilla kaalu virigi kuntunthundi. manaki time unte aagi daaniki emi kaavalo chsutham, ledu ante ayyo paapam ani jaali padi vellipothaam.
TV9 reporter velthunnadu, ventane Tv9 office ki oka phone velthundi, vaadu cameraman ni pamputhadu.
Ika modalu........
krishna aa kukka paristhithi ela undi? eppati nunchi akkada undi?
ee kukka morning nunchi ikkade undi, ippudu kuntunthundi......swapna
Akkadi vallu emanna chebuthunnara?... Krishna
Swapna...ikkadi vaallu idi oka kukka ani, daani kaaluku debba thagalatam valla kuntuthundi ani chepthunnaru. ee vidham ga gatham lo aa kukka ee area lo ila kuntaledani, ide thaamu modati saari choodatam ani chepthunnaru
Kuntuthunna Kukka Spandana ela undi? .....krishna
Kukka prasthutham kuntuthundi swapna. Ee vidham ga kaalu ku debba thagalatam kotha anukunta, anduke kuntatam raaka ibbandi paduthundi. Maatlaadinchataniki prayathnichina adi samaadhanam cheppakunda, mooluguthundi.....swapna
Thank you Krishna , eppatikappudu thaaja paristhithi sameekshisthu undtaaniki meeku call chesthu untam.
Idi gaayapadi kuntthunna kukka sthithi meeda maa crime prathinidhi
Krishna andinchina vivaraalu. Ippudu oka chinna break..break tarvatha Kukkalu-Kuntudu amsam pai charchintaniki pramukha doctor Kukkuteswara Rao gaaru mana studio ki vasthunanru.
Break Tarvatha..........
RajniKanth : Cheppandi Kukkuteswara Rao gaaru gatham lo meeru eppudaina ila Kukkalu kunttam chusara? oka vela chusthe aa jaathi kukkalu kuntam chusi untaaru.
Kukkuteswar : Ee vidham ga kukkalu kuntatam idi modati saari kaadu. Prapanchavyaaptham ga enno jaathula kukkalu, enno sandarbhallo ila kuntinattu manaku aadhaaraalu unnai. Kuntataniki jaathi tho sambandam ledu.
RajniKanth : Ante Kukkalu kunteppudu vaatiki emanna badha untunda? Unte etuvanti badha?
Kukkuteswar : Badha lo rakaalu undavandi. Kunteppudu general ga debba thagilna kaalu ki noppi untundi ani Dog's Medical Science lo gatti aadharaalu unnai.
RajniKanth : Thaaja paristhi cheppenduku maa crime prathinidhi
Krishna telephone lo sidham ga unanru...Krishan Cheppandi..aa Kukka Paristhithi ela undi
Krishna : (chevilo ear piece pettukuni bithara chupulu chusthu untaadu)
Krishna Cheppandi..aa Kukka Paristhithi ela undi?
Rajni kukka mooluguthundi, ippude blue cross vallu daanini teesuku vellaru.
Kukka kaalu ki debba thagilindi, daani ithara sareera bhaagalu ela unnai?...krishna
Rajni, Kukka kaalu ki maathrma debba thagilindi. Kaani ee Kukka thoka vankara ga undi.
Vankara ante ela undi...krishna (ippudu Rajni moham lo expression inkekkada chudalemu, stahruvu tanker ni dwamsam cheyyataniki wait chetshunna soldier face lo thappa)
Rajni Vankara ga antecuttukuni undi, nenu appatiki daanini straight cheyyataniki try chetshunnau kaani adi chuttukupothundi. bahusa kaalu ki debba thagalatam valla ani naa uddesam.
Thank you krishna....Kukkuteswar gaaru, kaalu ki debba thagalatam valla thoka vankara ayyi untundi ani maa prathinidhi Kirshna chepthunanru, deeni pai mee spandana enti?
Spandana ante emi untundi ra poondakor vedhava...kukka thoka kaalu ki debba thagalatam valla vankara ayyedi enti ra dhed dimgaa ga. emi manishivi ra nuvvu, ippati varaku nuvvu raasi ichina answers chadivanu, inka naa valla kaadu, naa tea marigipothu untaayi. bangaram laanti Mallayya ane
peru maarchi kukkuteswar rao ani maarchi, shirt pant rent ki techi naaku ichi doctor laaga act cheyyala? ala act chetshe naa tea kottu nunchi eduru ga
unna mee TV9 office ki roju 100 tea order isthara. manassakshi undantra edava
(ila thiduthu undgaane, TV9 logo vachi, merugaina samaajama kosam chusthune undandi TV9 ani vocie vinipinchi ads raavatam modalu ayyindi)
Evergreen Lovers
To ,
Tintumol
UKG A.
Dear Tintumol,
I love you. My dream I see you. Everywhere you. You no, I live no.
I come red shirt 2morrow. You love I, you come red frock. I wait down
mango tree. You no come, i jump train. Sure come...
yours lovely,
Tutumon
Std 1 B
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .........
Reply....by Tintumol....
Darling, your letter mama see. Papa beat me beat me so many beat me.
I cry. i cry. So no come to mango tree. No jump train. I love you.
See another day. I no red frock. Only green.
You love me, you love me you green shirt. Give I gift. I see you with
pinkumol.
Where you go.. NO talk to her. Okay My dream also only you
Lovely
Tintumol...
Tintumol
UKG A.
Dear Tintumol,
I love you. My dream I see you. Everywhere you. You no, I live no.
I come red shirt 2morrow. You love I, you come red frock. I wait down
mango tree. You no come, i jump train. Sure come...
yours lovely,
Tutumon
Std 1 B
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .........
Reply....by Tintumol....
Darling, your letter mama see. Papa beat me beat me so many beat me.
I cry. i cry. So no come to mango tree. No jump train. I love you.
See another day. I no red frock. Only green.
You love me, you love me you green shirt. Give I gift. I see you with
pinkumol.
Where you go.. NO talk to her. Okay My dream also only you
Lovely
Tintumol...
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Style of girls
Talking Style of girls
If v treat her nice she says "yaar mujhe line de raha hai"
If v dont she says "kitna akarta hai"
If v dress nicely she says "mujhe impress karna chahta hai"
If v dont she says "tasteless hai yaar"
If v argue with her she says "ziddi hai"
If v sit quietly she says "dumb hai"
If v act smarter she'll lose her brain as u r insulting her
If she acts smarter she thinks its her right
If v dont love her she says "is ka to pehle se hi 2,3 ladkiyon ka saath chakkar hai"
If v love her she says "peechhe hi pad gayaa hai"
If v dont tell her ur prob she says " u r not honest 2 me"
If u do tell to her she says "u r a problem child"
If v scold her she says "you act like a grandpa giving lecture"
If she scolds us she says "Yaar, its becoz i care"
If v break a promise she says "She does not trust u any more"
If she breaks she says "jaan main majboor thi....
ladkiyan re ladkiya . .
bechare boys itna sab sehke b chup chap rehte hai.
If v treat her nice she says "yaar mujhe line de raha hai"
If v dont she says "kitna akarta hai"
If v dress nicely she says "mujhe impress karna chahta hai"
If v dont she says "tasteless hai yaar"
If v argue with her she says "ziddi hai"
If v sit quietly she says "dumb hai"
If v act smarter she'll lose her brain as u r insulting her
If she acts smarter she thinks its her right
If v dont love her she says "is ka to pehle se hi 2,3 ladkiyon ka saath chakkar hai"
If v love her she says "peechhe hi pad gayaa hai"
If v dont tell her ur prob she says " u r not honest 2 me"
If u do tell to her she says "u r a problem child"
If v scold her she says "you act like a grandpa giving lecture"
If she scolds us she says "Yaar, its becoz i care"
If v break a promise she says "She does not trust u any more"
If she breaks she says "jaan main majboor thi....
ladkiyan re ladkiya . .
bechare boys itna sab sehke b chup chap rehte hai.
Funny interview Post
Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.
Candidate: I am SAMEER GUPTA. I did my Tele Communication engineering from
BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.
Interviewer: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never heard
of this college before!
Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission
into it . What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly! in 12th.I
was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to
call him 'baap') - "I can not invest so much of money".(The baap actually said
- "I will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this
college. Frankly speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be
related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya.
Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your
engineering.
Candidate: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you
know, these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis
tournaments.. It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and
3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.
Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.
Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try
to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches
really affect exams a lot. I think they should ban it.
Interviewer: Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.
Candidate: No, no... I am talking about Exams!!
Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?
Candidate: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I
would complete it. In fact, when i flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job
for me in BEST (Bus corporation in Maharashtra) through some relative.
Interviewer: Do you have any plans of higher study?
Candidate: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education
itself was so much of pain!!
Interviewer: Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have
you worked?
Candidate: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current
platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can
see I have experience of different platforms! (Vashi and Andheri are the
places in Mumbai)
Interviewer: And which languages have you used?
Candidate: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in
German, French, Russian and many other languages.
Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?
Candidate: It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher
version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new
language VD!
Interviewer: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?
Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the
language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.
Interviewer: What is your general project experience?
Candidate: My general experience about projects is - most of the times
they are in pipeline!
Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?
Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd. Since
joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that
Bench was another software like Windows.
Interviewer: Do you have any project management experience?
Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word and
Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call
and use speaker facility. And very important - I know few words like -
'Showstoppers ' , 'hotfixes',
'SEI-CMM','quality','versioncontrol','deadlines' , 'Customer
Satisfaction' etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!
Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?
Candidate: Not much.
1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.
2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have
deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.
3. I believe in flexi-timings.
4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I
would like to wear t-shirt and jeans.
5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so as to
avoid breakdown due to overwork.
6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term
preferably 2-4 months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and
Europe. But considering the fact that there is a world cup in West Indies in
2007, I don't mind going there in that period. As you can see I am modest and
don't have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?
Interviewer: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our
organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. Welcome to
INFOSYS .. :-))
Candidate: I am SAMEER GUPTA. I did my Tele Communication engineering from
BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.
Interviewer: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never heard
of this college before!
Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission
into it . What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly! in 12th.I
was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to
call him 'baap') - "I can not invest so much of money".(The baap actually said
- "I will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this
college. Frankly speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be
related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya.
Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your
engineering.
Candidate: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you
know, these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis
tournaments.. It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and
3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.
Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.
Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try
to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches
really affect exams a lot. I think they should ban it.
Interviewer: Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.
Candidate: No, no... I am talking about Exams!!
Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?
Candidate: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I
would complete it. In fact, when i flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job
for me in BEST (Bus corporation in Maharashtra) through some relative.
Interviewer: Do you have any plans of higher study?
Candidate: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education
itself was so much of pain!!
Interviewer: Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have
you worked?
Candidate: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current
platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can
see I have experience of different platforms! (Vashi and Andheri are the
places in Mumbai)
Interviewer: And which languages have you used?
Candidate: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in
German, French, Russian and many other languages.
Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?
Candidate: It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher
version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new
language VD!
Interviewer: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?
Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the
language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.
Interviewer: What is your general project experience?
Candidate: My general experience about projects is - most of the times
they are in pipeline!
Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?
Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd. Since
joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that
Bench was another software like Windows.
Interviewer: Do you have any project management experience?
Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word and
Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call
and use speaker facility. And very important - I know few words like -
'Showstoppers ' , 'hotfixes',
'SEI-CMM','quality','versioncontrol','deadlines' , 'Customer
Satisfaction' etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!
Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?
Candidate: Not much.
1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.
2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have
deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.
3. I believe in flexi-timings.
4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I
would like to wear t-shirt and jeans.
5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so as to
avoid breakdown due to overwork.
6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term
preferably 2-4 months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and
Europe. But considering the fact that there is a world cup in West Indies in
2007, I don't mind going there in that period. As you can see I am modest and
don't have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?
Interviewer: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our
organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. Welcome to
INFOSYS .. :-))
Marriage in words of a software engineer
Love Marriage: Resembles procedural programming language. We have some set functions like flirting, going to movies together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate we like.
Arranged Marriage: Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The main object is fixed and various functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or deleted.
Love Marriage: It is a throwaway type of prototype as client requirements rises with time thus it is a dynamic system and difficult to maintain.
Arranged Marriage: Requirements are well defined so use of waterfall model is possible.
Love Marriage: Family system hangs because hardware called parents are not responding.
Arranged Marriage: Compatible with hardware Parents.
Love Marriage: You are the project leader so u are responsible for implementation and execution of PROJECT- married life.
Arranged Marriage: You are a team member under project leader parents so they are responsible for successful execution of project Married life.
Love Marriage: Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking food, washing clothes etc.
Arranged Marriage: All these features are covered in the SRS as required features.
Love Marriage: Acceptance test possible you can try before you Buy.
Arranged Marriage: Product is sold on an as is where is basis, Product once sold will not be taken back
Arranged Marriage: Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The main object is fixed and various functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or deleted.
Love Marriage: It is a throwaway type of prototype as client requirements rises with time thus it is a dynamic system and difficult to maintain.
Arranged Marriage: Requirements are well defined so use of waterfall model is possible.
Love Marriage: Family system hangs because hardware called parents are not responding.
Arranged Marriage: Compatible with hardware Parents.
Love Marriage: You are the project leader so u are responsible for implementation and execution of PROJECT- married life.
Arranged Marriage: You are a team member under project leader parents so they are responsible for successful execution of project Married life.
Love Marriage: Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking food, washing clothes etc.
Arranged Marriage: All these features are covered in the SRS as required features.
Love Marriage: Acceptance test possible you can try before you Buy.
Arranged Marriage: Product is sold on an as is where is basis, Product once sold will not be taken back
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Just for laugh
TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!
TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we
didn't have ten years ago.
WILLY: Me!
TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree,
but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish
him?"
Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in his hand."
Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt ?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
Son : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!
TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we
didn't have ten years ago.
WILLY: Me!
TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree,
but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish
him?"
Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in his hand."
Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt ?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
Son : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
Elephant banana series, can you answer atleast one?????????
An elephant has 5 bananas and it is hungry, but yet it does not eat the bananas. Why ?
.
.
.
.
.
Because the bananas are made of plastic.
Next.Q
The 5 bananas are real , but yet the elephant does not eat it. Why?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because the elephant is made of plastic.
Hahhaa.never give up.one more..
Both the elephant and the bananas are real, but yet it cannot eat it.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Why ?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because the bananas are in the TV.
Ooops!!! Cool down.
Both the elephant and the bananas are real and in the TV, but yet it
cannot eat it. Why?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
,
,
,
Because they are on different channels.
Hohohohoohohoh..hehehe
Both the elephant and the bananas are real and in the TV and on the
same channel, but yet it cannot eat it. Why?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Cmon think ..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because the TV is off.
Kikikikikiki J
Now Finally the Elephant gets a chance to eat the bananas.Why?
why the hell do u think so much...let that poor animal have some food....n u get back to your work :D ...heheheh !!!!!!!!
.
.
.
.
.
Because the bananas are made of plastic.
Next.Q
The 5 bananas are real , but yet the elephant does not eat it. Why?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because the elephant is made of plastic.
Hahhaa.never give up.one more..
Both the elephant and the bananas are real, but yet it cannot eat it.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Why ?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because the bananas are in the TV.
Ooops!!! Cool down.
Both the elephant and the bananas are real and in the TV, but yet it
cannot eat it. Why?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
,
,
,
Because they are on different channels.
Hohohohoohohoh..hehehe
Both the elephant and the bananas are real and in the TV and on the
same channel, but yet it cannot eat it. Why?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Cmon think ..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because the TV is off.
Kikikikikiki J
Now Finally the Elephant gets a chance to eat the bananas.Why?
why the hell do u think so much...let that poor animal have some food....n u get back to your work :D ...heheheh !!!!!!!!
Miracle happend at Hyderabad
This is a miracle that happened recently at Hyd. A boy named Vishal n girl named Janavi luved sincerely. They used 2 chat on mobile for hours. In order 2 reduce the expenses, both got same network sim. One day the guy went abroad for a month due to his work. The girl died in an accident during that time. The girls last wish was to bury her along with her mobile. After a month the guy called the girlz mom n said 'Aunty i'will be coming tomrrow. I want this to be a surprise, so dont tell jaanu'. The lady didnt know wat to say. The next day the guy came & asked abt jaanu. Her mother told him about her death but the guy said dont joke, I spoke with her yesterday. Nobody believed. Suddenly the guys mobile rang and it displayed " jaanu calling". He activated d speaker. It was cleary jannu's voice. Then they realised that girl was using vodafone sim. "wherever u go the network follows". Thnx for wasting 2 minutes for reading this messsge as i did.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Flag this message Chinese detective,,,ha,,,,,,,,,,ha,,,,,,,,,,ha ,,,ha
A guy suspected that his wife was cheating on him, so he hired a Chinese detective... The cheapest one he could find.
This is his report:
Most honorable sir,
You leave house. I watch house. He come house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go hotel. I climb tree. I look window. He kiss she. She kiss he. He strip she. She strip he.. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall off tree. I no see.
No fee,
Cheng Lee
This is his report:
Most honorable sir,
You leave house. I watch house. He come house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go hotel. I climb tree. I look window. He kiss she. She kiss he. He strip she. She strip he.. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall off tree. I no see.
No fee,
Cheng Lee
Monday, October 5, 2009
Murphy’s laws on Girls…..
1. If u think a girl is beautiful, she’ll always have a boyfriend to confirm that
2. The nicer she is…the quicker u will be dumped!!!!!
3. The more the makeup, worse the looks…
4. “99% of the girls in this world are beautiful. Remaining 1% would always be in your company.”……………..100% true
5. The guy standing next to a beautiful girl can never be her brother.
6. If by any chance the girl you like , likes you too, she will let you know in about 10 years from now ,when you are committed..
7. The more you ignore a girl, the more she’ll want to be friends with you.
8. Theory of relativity……
The more u run towards a hot chick….the more she goes away from u…
9. Rule 1: Even if you got her out alone… Just when you are about to let her know about your feelings…she will spot a long lost friend( I guess from Kumbh ka Mela)
Corollary to rule 1: The more desperate you are to tell your feelings to a girl on a private chat, the more probability the long lost friend she discovered is a handsome superman, who beats you in everything 9:1
Axiom 1: The more dedicated you are to the girl, the longer it takes before things work out, but ultimately it will (somesmile for the guys)
10. The day the chick you really like comes and speaks to you will be the day when-
1. You are dressed badly
2. You forgot to brush your teeth for the first time in your life
3.Have a bad hair day
11. All the good girls are either nuns or married .the rest go around with u and ruin ur money,health and leave u a total wreck.
12. The more seriously u like a girl…the more seriously her dad will hate u
13. The love you shower a girl with is directly proportional to the number of bullets her dad will be showering at you
2. The nicer she is…the quicker u will be dumped!!!!!
3. The more the makeup, worse the looks…
4. “99% of the girls in this world are beautiful. Remaining 1% would always be in your company.”……………..100% true
5. The guy standing next to a beautiful girl can never be her brother.
6. If by any chance the girl you like , likes you too, she will let you know in about 10 years from now ,when you are committed..
7. The more you ignore a girl, the more she’ll want to be friends with you.
8. Theory of relativity……
The more u run towards a hot chick….the more she goes away from u…
9. Rule 1: Even if you got her out alone… Just when you are about to let her know about your feelings…she will spot a long lost friend( I guess from Kumbh ka Mela)
Corollary to rule 1: The more desperate you are to tell your feelings to a girl on a private chat, the more probability the long lost friend she discovered is a handsome superman, who beats you in everything 9:1
Axiom 1: The more dedicated you are to the girl, the longer it takes before things work out, but ultimately it will (somesmile for the guys)
10. The day the chick you really like comes and speaks to you will be the day when-
1. You are dressed badly
2. You forgot to brush your teeth for the first time in your life
3.Have a bad hair day
11. All the good girls are either nuns or married .the rest go around with u and ruin ur money,health and leave u a total wreck.
12. The more seriously u like a girl…the more seriously her dad will hate u
13. The love you shower a girl with is directly proportional to the number of bullets her dad will be showering at you
Heaven n Hell :)
Once an old man was sitting in the park reading book “learn J2EE in 21days”.
A passer by saw him and asked “U are such an old guy, why do you bother to learn J2EE?
“I have heard that communication language at heaven is J2EE so after my death when I will be in heaven, I don’t want to face communication problem.”old man replied.
“But how come u are so sure that U will be in heaven? It could be a hell also.” he asked.
“Ya,doesn’t matter …. I already know Lotus Notes “
A passer by saw him and asked “U are such an old guy, why do you bother to learn J2EE?
“I have heard that communication language at heaven is J2EE so after my death when I will be in heaven, I don’t want to face communication problem.”old man replied.
“But how come u are so sure that U will be in heaven? It could be a hell also.” he asked.
“Ya,doesn’t matter …. I already know Lotus Notes “
A heart touching story
One Day Anand went to beer shop,
& asked how much a KING FISHER beer costs?
Waiter said Rs. 75
Anand started counting how much he had in his purse.
Then he asked how much a KALYANI beer costs??
Waiter got irritated & said Rs. 72
Anand had a KALYANI beer….
He paid bill and left.
When the waiter came to pick the empty bottle
He was touched………..
Anand had left Rs. 3 as tip for him……..
DRUNKERS……..….. ROCK……………………
& asked how much a KING FISHER beer costs?
Waiter said Rs. 75
Anand started counting how much he had in his purse.
Then he asked how much a KALYANI beer costs??
Waiter got irritated & said Rs. 72
Anand had a KALYANI beer….
He paid bill and left.
When the waiter came to pick the empty bottle
He was touched………..
Anand had left Rs. 3 as tip for him……..
DRUNKERS……..….. ROCK……………………
The Indian way of doing Business
THE Indian way of doing Business
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in
D.C. One from Bangladesh , another from India and the third, from China .
They go with a White House office to examine the fence.
The Bangladesh contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring,
then works some figures with a pencil. “Well”, he says, “I figure the job will run about $900. ($400 for materials, $400 for my team and $100 profit for me)”.
The Chinese contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I can do this job for $700. ($300 for materials, $300 for my team and $100 profit for me)”.
The Indian contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, “$2,700.”
The official, incredulous, says, “You didn’t even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?”
The Indian contractor whispers back, “$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we
hire the guy from China to fix the fence.”
“Done!” replies the government official.
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in
D.C. One from Bangladesh , another from India and the third, from China .
They go with a White House office to examine the fence.
The Bangladesh contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring,
then works some figures with a pencil. “Well”, he says, “I figure the job will run about $900. ($400 for materials, $400 for my team and $100 profit for me)”.
The Chinese contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I can do this job for $700. ($300 for materials, $300 for my team and $100 profit for me)”.
The Indian contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, “$2,700.”
The official, incredulous, says, “You didn’t even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?”
The Indian contractor whispers back, “$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we
hire the guy from China to fix the fence.”
“Done!” replies the government official.
All time hit Jandhyala thitlu…
1. Nalla Cooling glass vesukoni Nalla addamlo choosukuntoo maadipoyina masala dosanu amavaasya roju current poyina timelo tine pinj ari edava.
2. Africa korivi deyyaniki America bhoothaniki akramasanthananiki puttina mohamu nuvvu.
3. Plane lo kerchief esi seat book chesukotaaniki parachute esukelle picchi edava
4. Computer lo “File not found” ani error vosthey ekkada undha ani paina kinda vethukkune verri naayala.
5. Bandaru laddu kosam kothulani (Bandar) ni vetaade panikimaalina moham nuvvu!!
6. Sunday Night Pub ki velli VEDIGAA UPMA UNDAA ani adigedi ebraasi.
7. summer lo sweaterlu ammukune yerri nayala
8. amudam tho omlate veskune.aragundu vedava.
9. Airport lo handkerchiefs ammukuntu thirigeee endipoyina noothilo baavuru kappa facuuu
10. endakalam lo raggu kappukuni vedi coffee thaage pinjaari moham nuvvunu
11. nee hobbies entante chettha kuppalo plastic kaagithalerukovadam ani cheppe kampu facuu nuvvu.
12. Java prog lo class declare cheyamante 5th class ani raase picchi nayala.
13. MNC interview lo HR round ki lungi toh velle laffoth mohamoda.
14. Software Requirement phase lo kirana list raase muganasthapu mohamoda
15. Client to conference ki puli veshamlo velle budabukkaloda
16. pencil adigina pillatho pellainda ani pichapicha prasnalu yese paaapii
17. Balayya cinemaki Black tickets kone face
18. pagilina window glass toh spectacles cheyyinchukune khanjoos gaa
19. bombay cinema choodataniki bombai poye moham
2. Africa korivi deyyaniki America bhoothaniki akramasanthananiki puttina mohamu nuvvu.
3. Plane lo kerchief esi seat book chesukotaaniki parachute esukelle picchi edava
4. Computer lo “File not found” ani error vosthey ekkada undha ani paina kinda vethukkune verri naayala.
5. Bandaru laddu kosam kothulani (Bandar) ni vetaade panikimaalina moham nuvvu!!
6. Sunday Night Pub ki velli VEDIGAA UPMA UNDAA ani adigedi ebraasi.
7. summer lo sweaterlu ammukune yerri nayala
8. amudam tho omlate veskune.aragundu vedava.
9. Airport lo handkerchiefs ammukuntu thirigeee endipoyina noothilo baavuru kappa facuuu
10. endakalam lo raggu kappukuni vedi coffee thaage pinjaari moham nuvvunu
11. nee hobbies entante chettha kuppalo plastic kaagithalerukovadam ani cheppe kampu facuu nuvvu.
12. Java prog lo class declare cheyamante 5th class ani raase picchi nayala.
13. MNC interview lo HR round ki lungi toh velle laffoth mohamoda.
14. Software Requirement phase lo kirana list raase muganasthapu mohamoda
15. Client to conference ki puli veshamlo velle budabukkaloda
16. pencil adigina pillatho pellainda ani pichapicha prasnalu yese paaapii
17. Balayya cinemaki Black tickets kone face
18. pagilina window glass toh spectacles cheyyinchukune khanjoos gaa
19. bombay cinema choodataniki bombai poye moham
Why husbands avoid answers?
WIFE: ‘What would you do if I die? Would you get married again?
HUSBAND: ‘Definitely not!
WIFE: ‘Why not? Don’t you like being married?’
HUSBAND: ‘Of course I do.
WIFE: ‘Then why wouldn’t you remarry?
HUSBAND: ‘Okay, okay, I’d get married again.’
WIFE: ‘You would?’
HUSBAND: …….?
WIFE: ‘Would you live in our house?’
HUSBAND: ‘Sure, it’s a great house.’
WIFE: ‘Would you sleep with her in our bed?’
HUSBAND: ‘Where else would we sleep?’
WIFE: ‘Would you let her drive my car?’
HUSBAND: ‘Probably, it is almost new.’
WIFE: ‘Would you replace my pictures with hers?’
HUSBAND: ‘That would seem like the proper thing to do.’
WIFE: ‘Would you give her my jewelry?’
HUSBAND: ‘No, I’m sure she’d want her own.’
WIFE: ‘Would she wear my shoes’
HUSBAND: ‘No, her size is 6.’
WIFE: — silence -
HUSBAND: ‘Ohh shit.
HUSBAND: ‘Definitely not!
WIFE: ‘Why not? Don’t you like being married?’
HUSBAND: ‘Of course I do.
WIFE: ‘Then why wouldn’t you remarry?
HUSBAND: ‘Okay, okay, I’d get married again.’
WIFE: ‘You would?’
HUSBAND: …….?
WIFE: ‘Would you live in our house?’
HUSBAND: ‘Sure, it’s a great house.’
WIFE: ‘Would you sleep with her in our bed?’
HUSBAND: ‘Where else would we sleep?’
WIFE: ‘Would you let her drive my car?’
HUSBAND: ‘Probably, it is almost new.’
WIFE: ‘Would you replace my pictures with hers?’
HUSBAND: ‘That would seem like the proper thing to do.’
WIFE: ‘Would you give her my jewelry?’
HUSBAND: ‘No, I’m sure she’d want her own.’
WIFE: ‘Would she wear my shoes’
HUSBAND: ‘No, her size is 6.’
WIFE: — silence -
HUSBAND: ‘Ohh shit.
What is LOVE ?
What is LOVE ?
If you love someone because you think that he or she is really gorgeous…
Then it’s not love..
it’s - Infatuation…
If you love someone because you think that you shouldn’t leave him because others think that you shouldn’t…
Then it’s not love..
it’s - Compromise…
If you love someone because you think that you cannot live with out his touch….
Then it’s not love..
it’s - Lust…
If you love someone because you have been kissed by him…
Then it’s not love..
it’s - Inferiority Complex…
If you love someone because you cannot leave him thinking that it would hurt his feelings..
Then it’s not love..
it’s - Charity…
If you love someone because you share every thing with him…
Then it’s not love..
it’s - Friendship…
But if you feel the pain of the other person more than him even when he is stable
And you cry for him..
that’s - LOVE…
If you love someone because you think that he or she is really gorgeous…
Then it’s not love..
it’s - Infatuation…
If you love someone because you think that you shouldn’t leave him because others think that you shouldn’t…
Then it’s not love..
it’s - Compromise…
If you love someone because you think that you cannot live with out his touch….
Then it’s not love..
it’s - Lust…
If you love someone because you have been kissed by him…
Then it’s not love..
it’s - Inferiority Complex…
If you love someone because you cannot leave him thinking that it would hurt his feelings..
Then it’s not love..
it’s - Charity…
If you love someone because you share every thing with him…
Then it’s not love..
it’s - Friendship…
But if you feel the pain of the other person more than him even when he is stable
And you cry for him..
that’s - LOVE…
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